She makes me smile....but it hurts me when i'm near her

I just finish friendstering and as usual, i went into her page and look at her pics. I do this almost everyday. And when i'm moody, i'll look thru her pics about 1-3 times a day. Maybe this is a bad thing to do. But each time i see her face, miraculously i'll smile. There's a contentment seeing her smile. It's like being near her. Though the fact is that we're really far apart; in two different world as well. She's in the world of prince and princess while i'm in the world of hades. I guess that's how Quasimodos's life was when he got kept inside the catheral of notre dame. And his life was blue until he met the gypsy girl. I wonder how did it end? I've seen books and movies about this story but i never actually read nor watch them. I wonder how it actually ended?

M-chan......she's cute, she's fair, she has almost everything describing an angel but deep down inside i know that she's struggling for sumthing. I have spent my times with her during those first few months together as friends and bgr and then back to friends again. That's how i know. But there's actually more to understand about her. Knowing her had indeed been a blessing. But it also has been a curse. Our days spent together was fun, sweet though at times there seems to be conflicts due to insatisfication. Maybe i didn't put in much effort and im not smart. Maybe she's demanding and comparitive. Maybe we're just not suitable. In the end our paths diverge into two paths. She head for the path to Camelot while my feet led me to the Dark Woods. I never know how her life was there as far as i would really want to find out. But i know that what ever happens, she is sure to avoid me. Who would want to be with a Quasimodo? What's so bad about Quasimodo anyway? He's caring, he's loving, he's lazy but for Esmeralda he would do anything-even if it means to kill himself. But alas....Quasimodo has fallen. As he entered the Dark woods, souls of the dead, also known as Hollow captured n consumed his soul.

And this is where u get a fallen hunchback. Imagine having a body but no soul. Ain't that sucks? Well, as far as i'm concern now, I'm forgiving the past. The past is just a story which i would like to share. Any influence from this past will be cut off permanently. For the sake of my future; for HER sake.

Me n M-chan are now still friends. Not really close friends but at least i didn't cut my connection with her. It's not that I do not want to cut it; It's just....I can't cut it. She's too important to me. Cutting my bond with her would means splitting myself into two. She might not know this but she's actually a part of me. Her smiles is equalivent to the antidotes for my problems in life. But yet being near her or chatting with her hurts me- just like taking an injection into your heart. Alas....this is where i shall i end.