My World- F***ing World

My World- F***ing World 15/09/2004 12:58am

Being a cancer is really hard unless u are able to do the rite things at the rite time. Rite this moment i'm moody. I've noticed that once more i've made mistakes which i've done many of a times. I've not done anything useful for quite sum time now and i'm not doing anything benificial from this 3 weeks break. Rite this moment i just wanna go out of this house n drive out to meet with my friends they all that are having their supper outside. Rite this moment i just wish i could ignore everything and start all over again from 0%. Just like clicking on a "restart life" button. Why oh why am i so lazy? So idle with life? So unmotivated in doing things? Wat when wrong in me? How could i be like this? I know that i could be better but rite this moment, I'm such a sucker~! AN asshole to be morel ike it. Might as well be best that i just die. No point living this life anyway. I'm a total failure in academic, social life and even love. I dun even qualify to be a son of a family. Man....Life rite now for me sux. Such a Fuking World. Sigh~ Wish i could just curl up and sleep thru this years without any pain; without sorrow. Just silence....Loneliness is my only companion. Who would be there to care for me? Who would be there to trust me? Minn said that of course ppl trust me. But in a certain level. And my family trusts me the most? Wat The Fuk? I dun see a constant trust from them. Where were they when i needed them? They only came when all the bads are over. Just like in the movies where the heroes finish dealing with the bad guys before the police arrives. Boy am i so fuking pesimistic. I seemed to have like given up in life adi. Feel like living a lifeless life. Many things i could do bu ti just dun have the courage to do it. I can think of doing it but then everything goes wrong becoz of me. See how useless i am? Can't even offer help to the needy, I got cheated by people easily. I even got used by those whom i considered them as my best friends. Friends.....I dun have much at all. Only a few whom i would consider friends. Friends uses me too often becomes my enemy. Sigh...Fuking life....

Freedom.......Do U even EXIST~!?

-End