Project X'mas

In case some of you people are wondering what Project X'mas is......let's just say that it's nothing so special. Actually i'm just drawing some art for Christmas(like what i always do for certain occassions). Last time, i use to team up with a Minnesota girl by the name of Nicole Nusbaum making a webpage for Christmas. She did the scripts while i do the drawings. That was about 7 years ago. For this Christmas, I'm drawing Snoopy. The main reason would be that i have this snoopy doll near my monitor. Second supporting statement would be P-chan. She loves Snoopy. Third supporting statement is Snoopy is easy to draw. Okay...i lied on the part where snoopy is easy to draw. But i'm able to draw snoopy thanx to Corine Teh Yew Choo's support and for my determination of drawing a perfect Snoopy. Took me about a week to actually draw a nice snoopy.

So when did i started this project? Well, just yesterday afternoon at 2pm. I finished it at 3am but haven' really finalized it. Anyway, check it OUT. Hope you guys n gals like it.

Merry Christmas !!!

Test~!

Your Dominant Intelligence is Spatial Intelligence

You've got a good sense of space and how the world around you looks. You can close your eyes and "see" images. You have innate artistic talent. An eye for color and shapes, you're also a natural designer. Since you think in pictures, visual aids and demonstartions help you learn best. You would make a good navigator, sculptor, visual artist, inventor, architect, interior designer, or engineer.

Nice site i got from raymond's blog. Well, the test is correct about me. You guys should try it as well. Just click here.

Waiting.....

17th December 2004 3:12am

It's raining heavily now and M-chan just went offline. Or has she? I'm not sure but seems like i dun have the chance to chat with her much lately. Why is this so? I don't know. I really don't know. Anyway, still remember those times when we would talk on the phone for long hours? It was raining heavily as well....just like now. I could barely hear what you were talking then. Especially with your soft voice. It's as if our road had already been decided then. 14 more minutes to go before i turn off this computer and head for bed. What are you doing rite now M-chan? Anyway, i wanna dedicate this song to you. It's called "waiting for you". Yeah...i'm waiting for you to get online again and chat. Been a while since we really chat. I don't know how u've been lately as well. Kinda concern; eventhough i know i'm not suppose to, I cant control it. Oh well, life goes on. Hope u'll like this song. >>

胡彦斌 - Waiting For You

金色的舞鞋 伴着音乐 BABY你的眼睛是一文深邃的湖水

而忽明忽灭 掩藏不可思议的美 让我晕眩 在悬崖边 谁知一睁眼就不见

Waiting For Yor I'm Waiting For You

Waiting For Yor Kiss Me At Tonight 为何你Cinderella

留给我一望无际的思念

Waiting For Yor I'm Waiting For You

Waiting For You Come Here To My Dream

牵着你不断旋转 一直到黑发变成了银线 Waiting For You Waiting For You 只到永远

I've waited and it's 3:26. 4 minutes left. Rain's starting to stop. Will i be able to see and chat with you before i go off? My heart says no. But i'm still hanging on. Most probably i wouldn't have that chance. But it's okay. There's still another time. :-)

Theoretically i should be getting closer to my promise. But how come i feel as if i didn't move a pace at all?

Was happy this monday afternoon when i checked my results for my gamma second same paper. I managed to pass all~! Thank GOD. Been two sems since i passed all my subjects. But my GPA is still so low.. It's 2.08. Damn. Nid to work harder if i'm to be any better.

Well...it was a relief that i've passed this semester. Which meant i kept one part of my promise with m-chan. Am i getting closer to my promise? Will i be able to achieve them all? Theoretically i should be getting closer to my promise. But how come i feel as if i didn't move a pace at all? Maybe i thought too much. But the nite before i checked my results, i dreamt of m-chan. Wonder how's she doing over there rite now? Hope she's doing well. From her last reply when i told her that i passed all my papers, it seemed that she may have been burning oil again for her weekly papers. Sigh. M-chan, kah yao~! U're not alone. You have people cheering up for you. :)

The basketball match is over. No more basketball match liaw. My knee is still a bit handicapped. Can't bent them all yet. Still got like......30 degrees more to go? ^^; Tomolo i might go check on the bone specialist. See if i can find out the true reason about my knee. Dun dare to jump eversince last monday's incident-5 minutes in first quarter i had to leave the court coz i injured my knee while landing. Sucks i'll say. But oh well....guess that's my fate.

oh ya...i uploaded a few pics on community webshot. the url is:: http://community.webshots.com/user/foxseija check it out if u guys want to. Just sharing with you guys. Since the business i'm doing also is a sharing business.

Should be all for now. Till then.......

-Ic3

Hurt~! Healed by the Orange Ball

I'm kinda "hurt" today. Not only of all the things that had happen to me but also things that are currently going through my mind. Wish i could just express these feelings deep inside me out and then i'll be able to just forget about it. Unfortunately i'm HUMAN; unlike a robot in which u would be able to erase all its data, memories and errors that it had. I can choose not to think aboutit again but somehow it just pops up into my head after a long time.

Today was a fine day. A fine, lazy day. Didn't do much except for eat and watched slam dunk on pc. So in short, i kinda wasted the whole afternoon watching anime. Then evening came and i had to go for the basketball competition opening ceremony. I was reluctant to go but then i knew that is one of a duty as a coach. So i went, brought by my cousin.
At MBKS bball stadium, we waited for the first match to end before lining up to welcome the arrival of " YB. Lily Yong". I'm not sure who she is but i heard she's a national player for some sport. Wonder wat sport was it? The ceremony like most bball ceremony i attended was just like it had been-BORING. Worst comes worst i had to stand for about 30 minutes mostly on one feet while my still "bent" leg was just supporting another side of my body. Sucks~! But oh well.
So after the ceremony was the 2nd and after the 2nd, the 3rd bball match. The 2nd match was Sarberkas Tabuan Jaya kids against SUPP Batu Lintang (A) teens. I'm very impress in this match because the kids beat the teens. Well, the teens deserve to lose because they weren't playing well at all. The thing in that match that took my attention was the teamwork in STJ(Sarberkas Tabuna Jaya). They really play as if they were professionally trained. I'm very impress in their gameplay indeed. Although in the 1st and 2nd quarter they were losing by 10 points, at the 3rd quarter, number 7 managed to tie the score and at the 4th quarter with number 13's good rebound and 9's determination, they manage to change the flow and win the teens by 10 points. When the game ended, most of the spectators there gave a loud applause. 3rd match was 678 seafood against informatics. As expected, informatics lost. But i was able to see and analyze the players because they were our next challanger this coming Saturday. Man....how i wish i was able to play!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How i wish my knee was okay. How i really wish i didn't join the sun shining camp! Dang! Coz of that camp i spent RM25 for it and wat i got? A broken knee. I'm not sure if it will get well again but my friends say that it won't. How i wish that they were wrong. Well, wait until next tuesday and i'll know the result. May there be hope for me.

Basketball to certain people is just a game. To some parents is just a sport that prevent their kids from involving in other unhealthy activities. But to me, basketball is a part of my life. It is the fire within me. When i held the ball in my hand, i could feel what i'm capable of doing and the more i play, the more things i learn in basketball. In fact, i feel as if i can do almost anything in basketball. I feel as if i'm able to master all the skills in bball. I took up playing basketball when my parents rejected me playing soccer because to them, soccer is a rough game. At first, i sulk. But then i knew i had no choice. I'm only a kid that time. What power do i have? My interest in bball started at the end of my primary school days when i followed my dad to watch his basketball team play. I was really amazed at how the game was played. Really amazed. All the lightning speed movements, the jump for rebound which looks like as if the player is reaching for the skies, and also the accurate shootings and the sound of the ball going through the basket net. And not to forgotten also the applause and cheering from the spectators and supporters. I still remember when i watched my father's team play, I could sense the tense of the basketball team. I could feel the worry of losing, then when just even the slightest faith was about to vanish, a glimpse hope emerge somewhere by luck and the situation change from a lost to a victory. Eversince then, i've decided to get myself famous in basketball.

During my first week in secondary school, I was one of the first to bring a basketball to school after noticing my seniors playing basketball everyday after their morning session class finish. Our form one was an afternoon session class. So basically during our recess, we would run down from our hill to the basketball court and join our seniors. At first, the seniors would ignore us, and monopolize the gameplay. But among the seniors, there is always one with a samaritan heart. So he let us played. Although at the begining we got bullied and they took advantage of our newbie playing, we manage to learn fast through their teachings as well as mockings. ^^; In form two, my chance came to play for the school when my seniors told me about the basketball team selection held on saturday. I was 170cm at that time. Quite tall for a form 1 student. So i went for the training, ran 10 laps around the basketball court, did stretchings, warm-ups and then after that basic trainings like lay-ups, shootings, defense and passings. It wasn't easy as i have to cope up with my seniors who are in their form 4 form 5. Our coach that time was Mr. Lim Ren En. He was a plump guy(similiar to Anzai sensei in slam dunk) and had just finish his form 6 in my school. In fact, he was also in charge of the afternoon session prefect. I learnt quite a few from him as well see a few stunts from my seniors. Unfortunately that year, i was filter out from the team. I was a bit sad. But i know that I'm not well up to them yet. During form 3, i missed the basketball selection team. But one of my friend whom i always defeated him 1 on 1 managed to get in the team. His name was freddie voon. Wonder where is this guy rite now? Really wanna settle this debt with him. Coz our last one on one match, I lost to him. My chance of representing the school came when i was in form 4 and form 5. My first match was against chung hua no. 1. And boy were they strong. Somemore we were playing against them at their basketball court. Sigh...Tough luck. In form 5, me along with a few friends; sing hui, kay hong, chee wei(my junior by one year who is now a state representative), ek zing and my lower six friends who came from kuching high represent st thomas to play once more. This time i was more experience but still low in confidence. But with kay hong and sing hui as well as lai supporting me, we manage to get into the quarter finals. So which school did we manage to beat? Well, it was smk lumba kuda and St. joseph(muahahaha...rival school defeated). Unfortunately we lost to kuching town and chung hua no. 3. Our last match was against smk pending. But that last match was more like a skill competition. U can see all types of lay ups. All the "bunga". Basketball life in high school was fun and memorable. The only thing that i really tought a lot was- why the heck i got chosen to play the center position? Anyway, bygones are bygones. Don mind.
Before entering MMU, I was suppose to play against a friend whom i met at Utopia prom nite. Unfortunately mishap fell upon him. I'm very sad of his departure and was shock when i heard the news. Mr. Ryan, rest in peace my friend. Hope that we'll get to play with each other when i get to heaven.

In mmu, during alpha year, i met kah mun, sim, kelvin, siang foong, yang zong, ronan, the sepang gang, triple s and many more whom became my friends and companions in basketball. It is from them i learn friendship. And from them, I met my second gf. During my beta year, my time spent on basketball decrease. Most of my friend that played basketball were in cyber already. Most of my times was spent with her. Unfortunately me n her didn't get along well. And in late beta, i re-enter the basketball court and there i met new friends. I met, kim hian(ultraman), keong yee(K.Y.), ah ping(chang swee phing), fei(fat) ping(also known as egg ultraman), satay, zhao, guo lin, ah peh and many more. All those people whom i keep seeing in my classes in beta but i didn't dare to go befriend with were now my friends. Cool ei? Life was very good when my gamma year starts. It feels more like a new begining and my life seems to have brighten with new friends. I do still keep in conctact with my old pals as i would go down at the first weekend of the semester just to gather with them. They're my "brothers" after all. And i will not forsake them. ^^

2:03am <-that's wat the clock at my monitor display.

Before i end this blog. I'd just like to leave a msg to M-chan.

"When all seems lost, when light of faith seems to dim out, there'll be hope. For I shall be your hope."
M---, if u can read this, I wanna say that i'm really happy and glad that u like it. The moment my bro told me he recieved a weird sms saying about cd, the first thing that went through my mind was you. I was right after all. I know that there's no chance. But i still lift my hope and faith up. Though not as high as before. When u are able to fly, that is when i shall let go and return to my true world. 1-4-3.

AMEN.

-Ic3

Updating myself

So peeps....sorry i've been out of contact for quite sum time. Sumthing just came up. So wat i'm gonna type in here are sum of those stuff that i've done in brief. So check it out::

29th Nov
Afternoon::
My "brother" n his wife sent me to kl sentral and we manage to have lunch together at kfc b4 i catch my train to klia. The flight boarding time was 2:15 and when i got on the train, it was 1:35. I was kinda nervous at that moment coz i tot i would missed my flight again. Why again? Well, i missed my flight two years back during chinese new year eve due to my late check-in. Suppose to check-in an hour before boarding time but i didn't know that. In the end, me and kim hang had to pay extra RM50 and wait for extra seats. Luckily the past didn't repeat itself. Praise the LORD for that. I really ran from the custom check to the boarding room. Fortunately the plane wasn't ready for flight until 3pm. Again, i thank the LORD.

So when i was on the plane, i exchanged my seat to this adorable little girl who wants the seat near the window(K) which happens to be mine. So being a good samaritan, I talked to the mother of the child and gave her my seat tickets. My seat was then changed twice; from (F) to (B) coz the whole family wanted so sit together. Wat else i did on the plane was helping a little boy open the toilet door. Knewing the toilet was unused, i wanted to get up of my seat and help that kid. But sumthing was dragging me back. Could be my pride. But in the end, i let go off my hessitation and helped the kid. Really felt good after that. As if a sin has been cleanse. And guess wat after that? The guy who was sitting beside me started talking to me. We exchanged business cards and chatted a few. It was a nice day that day.

Evening::
That evening as soon as i reached home, i got ready and brought my bro, JBK to batu kawa town bball court. It was there only i found out that they are having a bball match net week. Sum milo competition. So training starts tomolo and i'm the coach.

30th Nov
I woke up early this morning and prepared Nutrilite breakfast for my family. My dad, being a cautios person at first rejected the drinks saying that there are side-effects from it and remind me of uncle jack(dunno who is he) who is said to have died of consuming overdosage of nutrilite. But i doubt it. It just doesn't make sense. If such thing were to happen, then nutrilite would've been banned already in the US. I mean someone else in the US would've also gone through this situation as well. No matter what, I've placed myself into this business and i will put my faith into this business. "If you dun believe, u'll never achieve". That is a saying from my uplines which sounded very true. This business which i'm working "with(not "under" coz if it was under, u will be yelled and sacked)" isn't an illegal company, is good and trustworthy. Else i will never join this company in the very first place. Summore this company provides 100% money back guarantee for most of it's product. This means it protects it's partners as well. Now where can u get that?

Actually i want one thing from this company. My dream is actually to go RSMU and find M-chan(a promise of 3 years), visit her and if she's not doing well there, I'll pay for the compensation and bring her back here. It's crazy but i've decided. It's my dream. I know it sounds stupid but hey; i'm not the only one insane in this world. Take a look around and you'll see that i'm still sane. And i know that through this company, as long as i work a bit harder, I'll achieve it. Along the days in this company, i noticed a sudden change in me. I may not have gotten closer to my dreams yet but alongthe way, i learnt principles in life, i learnt to be able to talk more, the courage to meet up with new ppl and introduce the business i'm doing. Maybe this is why my uplines call this business as a "sharing" business. You share experiences, advices and never ever criticize the mistakes of others; instead u correct them by showing their mistakes. The humor i found in this business is that my business partners all seemed to like "bird-talk". It's sumthing like making fun of each of us but just to entertain. Maybe this is also one of the skills.

Anyway, that evening, that was our very first training. I wouldn't say that the training was sucessful but compare to the days after that, today's training is so far the best. And that nite, i happen to have hurt my knee a bit when guarding my bro. Damn..when will it heal? Been months adi. Almost 2 months since i rested and 4 months since the incident. I had to gave up on my University's 5 on 5 competition because of it. Don't want to drag my team to hell.

PS: scratched my wira car at victor's gate that afternoon while parking into his house. Was damn pissed off of myself that that very nite i couldn't drive well.

1st Dec
Tonite was my very first 5 on 5 friendly match after months of rest. Luckily my knee was still in good condition. Also, the gameplay was nice. Only that we lost.

2nd Dec (Evening)
It was suppose to be our official training but only 5 showed up. Sigh. Didn't do much except for sea-side run(suicide), rebound-shoot, 3-point training and formation. After that was a short game of 3 on 3.

3rd Dec
No training that nite and i went out to meet up with alvin and robin at PC fair which was held at "taman kereta". We met many of our friends there by luck and i oso manage to spot my cyber sis and his hubby. I mced my sis bt seems like no response. So i tot i saw wrongly. Minutes later, she smesd me and told me she tot she saw me at the pc fair. So that means i was right after all. After that i went to find alex and then head for Mermaid. The place is small and it's not really hot there. The songs played were ah beng songs. No offence but that's wat i felt. So wat me, robin, alvin and daniel did there was watched "double vision" on the tv there. After that we went to mike's house and at 1pm sumthing, we head back. Comment on myself:: I drove badly today. Nearly rammed into a lorry. Could it be the beer that i drank? Nah~!

4th Dec
Stayed at home the whole day. No training because edmund went sibu, jason and my cousin went santubong, dunno where is wei loon, and i didn't contact the sejijak ppl. Alex invite me out. I know that tonite would be hot at the pub but sumhow i rejected him. Maybe coz the computer was back. I kinda nearly spoiled the computer on the second day i got back. I was cleaning the computer, disassembling it and then reassembling it back. When i open the computer, it seems that sumthing went wrong. Only todaywhen brother Kelvin explained it to me then i realized that i nearly burn the AMD athlon 2500+. Phew~!

5th Dec.
Went out to find jerry and lend him the RM100 he nid. He said he'll pay back on 26th Dec. Hope he keeps his words. I dun usually lend money to peeps unless they have a good relation with me.

6th Dec
Our first official matched. I got very worried today coz i kept wondering if our team will be rejected. We haven't filled in the form, it was 5:30pm and we're stucked in a traffic jam and it was raining(which means the jam gonna get worse). Fortunately things went well. We got there with enuf time, i get to meet the auntie that was selling snakcs and drinks there, get to chat with her and bought an adidas reject basketball uniform set for RM25. The material of the shirt is nice. The only thing bad about it was the sewing. Only a bit handicapped here and there. But for RM25, It really worth it.

That was the good news, now comes the SUCKY one. 5 minutes first quarter of the match, i injured my knee again. And boy was it really serious. My knee swell badly, I could barely walk and had to get my bro to support me back to the bench. My cousin subsitute me after that. Our oppenent that day wasn't strong at all. Their only advantage were that they had a bit of team-work. I got a bit pissed of my knee that nite. But I knew i had to be optimistic. Things happens for a reason. And that nite we lose 37 to 60.

7th Dec
Went to see the specialist at timberland this morning. Rested and then got myself to the second match. With a still swelling knee, i manage to get myself walking, endure those tiny sharp pain cause by the swelling cells and bones which squish my nerve as i move my leg. Today's opponent was said to be the previous champion. And that nite we lost even though our rival weren't playing 100%. Sigh......

I'm thinking of retiring from bball for a year or two. Until i am sure that my knee will be okay. According to the doctor that i wnt to see this morning, there's a possiblity that my nerve inside my knee(between the knee-cap and the joints) is injured. He said that it's one of the main cause for me being unable to control my left leg. And that explains why i injured myself after just doing a turnaround then and fade-away shot. It'll be a bad news if it's true. But he did say that my legs are strong. ^^.

Our next match will be this saturday. I know i cant play yet. And mostly i wouldn't play. But depends on my leg. If i think my leg can handle it, then i'll play. Bball is important to me. Because if it weren't for bball, I would've never existed in the very first place. I would be nothing but a speckle of dust..

8th Dec..
Maybe will get edmund and train his footsteps this afternoon. He committed "travelling" during yesterday's match. And tonite maybe they'll be a training to get ready for the match against our next rival.

I'll end it here now. AMEN.

To Be Continued..........

7 more hours before i leave for Kuching

Title says it all. I'm flying back. All my bags are pack, i'm ready to go. Just nid to wait for the time to fly.

Rite now i'm still at my friend's place. It's sumwhere near the intan college building. Out of the window is the front of intan college. Hmmm..... I tot i would have problems staying over here at first but seems like my worries are over. Kinda lucky to manage to sneak into this place. But that's not the climax. Climax is i manage to watch my friend's block mates breaking bottle glasses in the middle of the nite. Imagine them breaking glasses since 12 am till 3 am. I was too sleepy so i missed the first few hours of the show. ^^ But then i manage to see one of the bottle being break. I tried it myself but seems that i failed. The most i did was i made a cracking sound on the bottle. But it didn't crack at all...Damn... Anyway, if u wanna know how the bottle was broken, well, it's more like breaking the bottom part(base) of the glass bottle by implying acertain amount of force onto the lid(the mouth) of the bottle. Sounds odd but it works. But in order for it to work, the bottle have to be filled with liquid. Any should do. Just fill the bottle half full, take a good grip on the upper body of the bottle(to preventfrom slipping) and then with a full strike, hit with ur palm onto the cap of the bottle lid.

5/6 bottles were broken that night. I dunno what happen to the last one coz teh b'day boy took it back. Mayeb he really was trying to break it still. ^^;

So wat else i did here? Well, i join's kay hong(my friend which i'm staying over his place)'s friend from kluang(ah fahm) and a few more of the gangs celebrating the birthday boy(siew long)'s birthday eating durian. We were squatting just outside of SL's room eating durian. Imagine a room filled with the smell of durian. ^^

10:30am now and still got 6:30hrs b4 my flight. And also, i'm planning to end this early. Having backaches adi. Old man loh. Really had a nice day here. Have to thank GOD for these wonderful things. I feel blessed~!

AMEN~!


-Ic3

TWO down ONE more to go

8:40am and thie time is ticking. ....Duh

Anyway, Rite now i'm kinda preparing for my breakfast. Hot milo + crackers. Not a very nice breakfast rite? Apa boleh buat? The nearest eating place is like RSU there and the food there oso might not taste nice. So wat the heck? Besides breakfast, i just started studying for my last paper while chatting with my cyber-sis(but she seemed very busy. Aih....working ppl sure very kolian. I hope i dun end up the same road as them. ^^) .

Yesterday's paper was kinda hard coz i didn't manage to score. Should have studied rite after my first exam. Hope i'll pass this one. Else die lah. My carry marks is 31.6/50. So this means i'll need 18.4 more to pass. But when i recount my marks oso didn't reach 16. OMG~!!! Dang....forget about this paper. I'm focusing on the last one. ^^

8:59am and i've finished my breakfast. Still hungry though. Wonder if Mr. Jerry is awake? Wanted to call him out for breakfast but then again he might be busy and sleeping. He always have his activities. Boy do i envy ppl with transportations(motors, cars and even bikes~!). Then the sms report that i sent to Joan just beeped. Guess Joan wakes up quite early oso. So now will be waiting for her reply.
Woah~! just found out CT got a new bf adi....GENG~! Then again; it's been like almost half a year since i last contacted with them. Haha. Wonder how they look like now?

Had a wonderful chat with Amanda last nite. We talk from present to past, from public to secret and oso about fox~!!! We also share about our dreams, and many more lah. I even try to korek some secret from her. Or was i? Reminisence. I still remember when i was 'fox'. Those happy days....and oso those sad days.... aih..... It's all a past now. Why i change in the first place? Maybe that's the way of LIFE? Maybe i should take a step forward into achieving my dreams? Bored and out of ideas now...

So before i end this blog. First of all i'd like to thank P-chan for cheering for me for this tdm. [ResP3ct!]


EnD-->

-Ic3

This song is called "La Salle De Bain" [ENj0y]

The BODY is tired but MIND is still active

8:11am in the morning and guess why i'm still awake? Yep~! it's the finalS~! And m second paper is at 2:30pm at CITS lab 3. So i kinda burn oil for the past 24hrs. Rite this very moment i can tell u that while typing, my body is really shaking; and so are my hands. Man i feel like i just got off from drugs. Then again i did take caffeine like 4-5 hours ago. Lolz. I dun really like taking coffee frankly spekaing. Nor do i like instant food. But at times like this, sacrifice have to be met to achieve something. -> People cannot GAIN anything without SACRIFICING something. You must present something of EQUAL VALUE to gain something. Now doesn't that sounds familiar? Yep~! It's the principles in Equivalent Trade from FMA. It's a very nice anime series. It's cool~!

Dang...8:32am now. Gtg get sum rest and wake up at 11am. Ciao~!

Oh ya......I'm missing her again. Been weeks since i last chat with her. I hope she's doing well over there. Sigh. I guess a curse is a curse afterall. No one else can ever dispell it unless it's thyself. M-chan...have u ever.....?

Lastly, I wish all the best and good luck to those having their finals. I know it's kinda late but i did pray for you guys n gals on monday while sitting for my computer security.

Anywya, ciao~! 8:36am

8:55am.....damn..i can't sleep without finish blogging wat happen for the past 24 hrs. First, i went campus and found out that u can't transfer cash from one account to another... Second, i lost to Mr. Lawrence on a bet on "who reach the burger stall first gets a free black pepper chicken." Well.. i wasn't running until i saw chak heading the burger stall alone but i'll admit i lost. :) And third, i just found out that this amanda(Kitsune-sama) was actually sitting the same table with me during 2002/2003 IT fair appreciation dinner. No wonder she was surprise when i wasn't surprise of her change; I couldn't even remember her!! Lolz~! Sorry girl...I have bad memories. Only could remember my pal, shawn kissing his gal in public that nite after appreciation nite ended.


9:01am...Finally.....Now i can hit the sack.

-Ic3

My Devotion

*I got this from M-chan in friendster. So far i couldn't find the origin of the song. No idea of who's the singer, how the song is like and wat language is it actually. Maybe she wrote it herself; since she's a bit of a singer herself as well. Can anyone help me out? Here's how the song, "My Devotion", goes...."


In a dream i hold u close,
embracing u with my hands,
in a gaze that meet,
with eyes full of love,
it made me understand,
that i was meant,
to share it with u,
my heart,my mind,my soul,
then i open my eyes,
and all i see,
reality shows i'm alone,
but i know someday that
u'll be by my side,
cos i know God is just waiting
til the time is right....

God will u keep him safe
from the thunder storm,
when the day is cold,
will U keep him warm,
when darkness falls
will u please shine him the way,
God will u let him know
that i love him so,
when there's no one there,
that he's not alone,
just close his eyes n
let him know my heart is
beating with his....

Sumthing nice...the song's at the side bar

A song i got from a link sent by ma fren, ah wang.com - cheers dude~!

Song title::穝糤呼1

Lyrics::

這條歌 做給認為自己衰的人
你們認為自己狠衰 但是
你們甘有比我還要衰?
聽看麥...yeah...

為什麼我會烙賽?
今天的舞廳放westside
感覺真正不錯 feel all right
但是 還是沒人能夠了解
為什麼 烙賽就烙賽還從褲管流出來
流出來 想說暗暗沒人知
結果 害旁邊的人滑倒
外國人看到 說"damn! muthafucka!!"
遇到這種情形真正是丟臉死
註死 剛好今晚是lady free
舞池的人 大部分是辣手
全部都在討論"hey~do you see that?"
正港有在衰 種瓠仔生蔡瓜
沒吃什麼東西 卻種芋頭在褲底
安怎解釋 像我安捏
裡面穿 四角褲 卻忘記包尿布

<副歌>(chorus)
This is not my day
我怎麼架尼衰
烙賽在褲底 還被人發現
唉嚘 氣死 嗚~~~
This is not my day
我怎麼架尼衰
烙賽在褲底 還被人發現
唉嚘 倒退嚕~~~

自小漢媽媽就說肚子痛就不能拖
但是我好幾次都來不及拉在地上
現在已經大漢 沒那個習慣
忍屎NO.1 I say...
今天是抽到命運還是機會
走路還"拖泥帶水"
都是因為人太擠 大家相擠
害我走不過 還一直跟人會失禮
"哩洗勒擠三小?" 我被人 這樣醮
屁股快 凍未條 沒人要理我
現在拉出來 你們才嫌臭
脫掉~脫掉~讓你們聞個夠
順便轉一下風車 弄髒你們的地板
爽啦 第一次連圍事都怕我
我已經崩潰了啦哈哈~~~

<副歌>(chorus)
This is not my day
我怎麼架尼衰
烙賽在褲底 還被人發現
唉嚘 氣死 嗚~~~
This is not my day
我怎麼架尼衰
烙賽在褲底 還被人發現
唉嚘 倒退嚕~~~

Somebody tell me why~~~

Every morning
我都跑廁所
痾~~~便便
最怕烙賽~~~

This is not my day
我怎麼架尼衰
烙賽在褲底
還被人發現......
(架夭壽~架夭壽~架夭壽.....to the end)

yeah...代誌發生的時候
大家都圍在旁邊看
不輸有人再尬舞
有一個圍事
他走過來跟我說
"這什麼?"
"痾...應該是米田共...但是誰的我就不知道了..."
"哼!!臭小子!!你居然敢耍我...呀!!!"
"救命阿~~~"

<副歌> (chorus) to the end.....

　

"烙賽在褲底" made by KuSouL

PS: Got this song from a site:: Hope he dun sue me~! Lolz

All about life

Here's a story in which I would like to share out. It's told by my upline DD(also counting month Diamond, Brother Wee)::

One day in a forest, A hunter and his hound was hunting in a jungle and spotted a baby hare under a tree. With great concentration, the hunter aim and bang! He got the hare on one of its leg. The hunter then ordered his hound to go after the escaping rabbit.

Moments later, the hound came back with nothing in his mouth. With great curiousity, the hunter asked, "How could you let that hare get away? The f***ing hare was badly injured and you still couldn't catch it?! What f***ing dog are you?". The hound replied his master, "The hare's too fast *gasp* I tried my best! *Gasp* It's f***ing fast dude~!! How u expect me to f***ing catch it? *Gasp* F*** You!!"

Back at the hare's lair, the hare's mother saw the hare running into the lair with its leg injured and asked what happen. After listening to the story, she said to the hare, "You are one H*** of a lucky hare. Thank God for that." "No, mama. I'm not lucky. I ran for my F***ing life~! You know how hard is it to run all my way back here with an injured leg? Dang I need to get my leg healed."

Basically the moral of this story is that if you want success in a short time, you'll have to put your life into it. Just putting your effort will not make much difference. Let me differenciate between putting your LIFE and putting your EFFORT. When you put ONLY your EFFORT in doing a certain task, you are like the hound. But if you put your LIFE into doing something, like for instance in creating a brighter future; u are like the hare; u escaped from the hound(clutches of problems).

So I guess this is what I wanna share to you peeps about life. So after you guys finish reading thru this. I want you guys to asked yourself; "HAVE U TRIED PUTTING YOUR F***ING LIFE INTO DOING SUMTHING?" Coz if you haven't, you should do it from now onwards. You'll see what I mean.

In life, people do not go faster than you coz they are capable of it. Well, actually about 5% of the people will be more capable than you. You're slower than others coz you "stopped walking the steps". Growing up is about walking the steps of life. If you stop walking, you'll be seeing others walking pass by you. Therefore, my support to you peeps that are idling(I'm sure you know that you're idling rite this very moment), on your mark, get set, WALK~! ^^

She makes me smile....but it hurts me when i'm near her

I just finish friendstering and as usual, i went into her page and look at her pics. I do this almost everyday. And when i'm moody, i'll look thru her pics about 1-3 times a day. Maybe this is a bad thing to do. But each time i see her face, miraculously i'll smile. There's a contentment seeing her smile. It's like being near her. Though the fact is that we're really far apart; in two different world as well. She's in the world of prince and princess while i'm in the world of hades. I guess that's how Quasimodos's life was when he got kept inside the catheral of notre dame. And his life was blue until he met the gypsy girl. I wonder how did it end? I've seen books and movies about this story but i never actually read nor watch them. I wonder how it actually ended?

M-chan......she's cute, she's fair, she has almost everything describing an angel but deep down inside i know that she's struggling for sumthing. I have spent my times with her during those first few months together as friends and bgr and then back to friends again. That's how i know. But there's actually more to understand about her. Knowing her had indeed been a blessing. But it also has been a curse. Our days spent together was fun, sweet though at times there seems to be conflicts due to insatisfication. Maybe i didn't put in much effort and im not smart. Maybe she's demanding and comparitive. Maybe we're just not suitable. In the end our paths diverge into two paths. She head for the path to Camelot while my feet led me to the Dark Woods. I never know how her life was there as far as i would really want to find out. But i know that what ever happens, she is sure to avoid me. Who would want to be with a Quasimodo? What's so bad about Quasimodo anyway? He's caring, he's loving, he's lazy but for Esmeralda he would do anything-even if it means to kill himself. But alas....Quasimodo has fallen. As he entered the Dark woods, souls of the dead, also known as Hollow captured n consumed his soul.

And this is where u get a fallen hunchback. Imagine having a body but no soul. Ain't that sucks? Well, as far as i'm concern now, I'm forgiving the past. The past is just a story which i would like to share. Any influence from this past will be cut off permanently. For the sake of my future; for HER sake.

Me n M-chan are now still friends. Not really close friends but at least i didn't cut my connection with her. It's not that I do not want to cut it; It's just....I can't cut it. She's too important to me. Cutting my bond with her would means splitting myself into two. She might not know this but she's actually a part of me. Her smiles is equalivent to the antidotes for my problems in life. But yet being near her or chatting with her hurts me- just like taking an injection into your heart. Alas....this is where i shall i end.

Girl of my dreams

There's this girl whom i met back in August 2000 at a library. First time meeting her was like just general friends. My first impression on her....well, actually i didn't have a good impression of her i think. To me, she's just an ordinary girl. Just a friend. She would help me out with my maths when she was at the library. Then she showed interest in the language i was interested in as well: nihon-go(japanese language). I remember the days when she would spent her studying time to get me to teach her japanese. She wasn't a fast learner. So i printed out a paper with all the hiragana characters as well as the phonetics for her to refer to. Days later she wrote out the hiraganas with the phonetics in a fullscape paper and pass it to me. On the paper as well was her name in hiragana; "mi-n-n". I didn't realise how minn would have changed my life. At first, i thought she was just some ordinary teenage girl that i would meet and end up at most as friends. But there was more from her. As soon as she got my house number, she would call me at times telling me about our tuition events. Months past and one night while at a tuition centre, i suddenly go jealous of her talking to a bunch of guys who was from her brother school. Actaully i wouldn't have gotten jealous...i think..if my classmates weren't disturbing me n her. Somehow it just seems that God was trying to match us up. Coz that nite after i got back home, i tried calming myself but failed. In the end, I made a call and said "aishiteru" to her. Took me lots of courage to do that. Really alot. After saying that, i bid her goodnite and tried to catch sum sleep. Didn't really got enuf sleep that nite if i could recall correctly. Coz i think i was "fishing" in class the next day.

During my days with Minn, when i didn't bother to care for her, she would just be there, sitting beside me n smiling at me. Her smile bring me warmth. And sumhow her smile brings me a sense of freshness. Being with her made me felt happy. Also, she was a "turn on" for me. But i didn't ake her as anything despicable. Our friendship stage didn't last long. That nite after failing to visit our tutor's house coz he wasn't at home, we walked on the overhead bridge to reach the other side of the road where we would wait there for our parents to bring us back. Rite the on top of the bridge, she held my hand. I was shocked at first but then i realise that she may have like me. Minn's hand was small n soft as silk. Since then, i didn't let go off her hands not until we reach the other end of the bridge. And it was that nite that we officially became boyfriends n girlfriends. But everthing seems too fast.

First 2 months was going well. We chatted mostly on the phone coz i wasn't good in this kind of stuff yet. Minn was my first love. And i tried my best to make her happy. But after the government exam ended, we rarely met each other. And that's when problems started to occur. I haven't gotten my driving license yet and even if i had i would not be able to drive coz my parents would not permit me to. They say that i'm too reckless. *But up till now, the only accident i had was hitting a wall when reversing my car. Been driving, speeding and wat more? Racing as well.* That day, I met her ex while on the way to sugarbun with her. I didn't really notice it was her ex till she actually told me. And ever since then she would be talking to me mostly about her ex. What he did and many more. Hearing that, I started to lose confidence. I tried many ways to get through this challange; i cared for her more, called her but all was useless. She just thought that i was trying to be him. She even call me bad names and sumhow i was stupid enuf to be able to stand her.

About 3 months later, we broke up. She declared it. Coz she said that we were incompatible. Luckily i wasn't really heartbroken. Coz the loss seems so little. I did try to patch back but then fail. About a week later, we got back together again. That was after i drove (with my buddy accompanying) to her house. Things got better then and i started being myself again. I listened to what she wants n tried my best to give it to her. There was once when she wanted a soft toy and i searched the whole kuching for it without any result. Lucky for me(or her), i had a classmate studying in kl that time and he saw that doll and sent it to me. *Really thank him for that.* As soon as i got the doll, i manage to get my friends to bring me to her place since it was raining heavily. I lent my friend's umbrella n got them to park at the corner of the junction so she wouldn't see them. That time she was angry of me for sumthing which i've forgotten. Waiting outside the house, i called her home using my mobilephone and told her i was outside with a "gift". She didn't believe me at first but then when she looked outside, there i was. I may have misunderstood her words that day but as soon as i gave her the gift, i left. That nite, she called me, thank me for the gift and then forgave me.

In late April 2001, I received a letter from a campus in another state accepting me to futrther my studies there. Though the course i applied wasn't the course i wanted, it was a degree and i had to choose between a college o a university. Minn did apply for that U as well. And that's why i didn't want to go to that college. Even if it was in a more develop state and with lots of pretty girls. My heart was with Minn already. On the last day i before i left for my U, i was suppose to be out with Minn but then coz of my foolishness i drove my friends as well. And wat's worst? I nearly got Minn in an accident coz i was very anxious in getting Minn back home before dinner in order to prevent her from being scold by her parents. * Minn is the youngest in the family with 2 elder brothers and her family is strict.* If i got minn in an accident, i would sure die than living. Well , I knew that our relationship since then would not be very stable cz after my departure to my new U, we seldom see each other. But we called each other. Though she would mostly call from public phones coz she dun want her parents to know about her having a bf.

Late May, Minn got offered by a government U which is near my state. But not for long because she got another offer for overseas studying medical in Russia. My first tormenting cry was during this time. That week i got her call where she sounded very unhappy, I immediately asked my senior(a housemate who's very friendly and crazy) to help me buy a ticket to that state on that very weekend. Everything was perfect that morning. I left early so i wouldn't missed my bus. But then unexpected events occur. That day hapens to be one of the state's event and the road was blocked. After waiting 15 minutes and still no movement, i paid the taxi driver and then rushed to the bus station. Though i've been in that state for like almost a month, I dun really know the roads there. But somehow God helped me and i manage to reach the bus station and got onto my bus before it leaves................to be continued.

My World- F***ing World

My World- F***ing World 15/09/2004 12:58am

Being a cancer is really hard unless u are able to do the rite things at the rite time. Rite this moment i'm moody. I've noticed that once more i've made mistakes which i've done many of a times. I've not done anything useful for quite sum time now and i'm not doing anything benificial from this 3 weeks break. Rite this moment i just wanna go out of this house n drive out to meet with my friends they all that are having their supper outside. Rite this moment i just wish i could ignore everything and start all over again from 0%. Just like clicking on a "restart life" button. Why oh why am i so lazy? So idle with life? So unmotivated in doing things? Wat when wrong in me? How could i be like this? I know that i could be better but rite this moment, I'm such a sucker~! AN asshole to be morel ike it. Might as well be best that i just die. No point living this life anyway. I'm a total failure in academic, social life and even love. I dun even qualify to be a son of a family. Man....Life rite now for me sux. Such a Fuking World. Sigh~ Wish i could just curl up and sleep thru this years without any pain; without sorrow. Just silence....Loneliness is my only companion. Who would be there to care for me? Who would be there to trust me? Minn said that of course ppl trust me. But in a certain level. And my family trusts me the most? Wat The Fuk? I dun see a constant trust from them. Where were they when i needed them? They only came when all the bads are over. Just like in the movies where the heroes finish dealing with the bad guys before the police arrives. Boy am i so fuking pesimistic. I seemed to have like given up in life adi. Feel like living a lifeless life. Many things i could do bu ti just dun have the courage to do it. I can think of doing it but then everything goes wrong becoz of me. See how useless i am? Can't even offer help to the needy, I got cheated by people easily. I even got used by those whom i considered them as my best friends. Friends.....I dun have much at all. Only a few whom i would consider friends. Friends uses me too often becomes my enemy. Sigh...Fuking life....

Freedom.......Do U even EXIST~!?

-End

The First Entry

This is my first entry for this spot. For once, starting from now onwards i'll be a blogger. And for today, I'll just stop it for now. Gotta go ctach sum sleep for my class in the next 4 hours. Summore i gotta finish set up this account of mine first. Hmmm......