A World of I.C.E

Updates . . . .

2008-12-08T20:02:00.003+08:00

This post is for my Heng Tai who has been poking me in facebook and asking me to update my blog to share my life with him. Well, after a long thought and hesitation, i finally decided to give life to my blog today. How long will it live is still uncertain. But I can assure that this blog ain't dead...yet. xD

Anyway, since my graduation back in 2007, i have been working for my dad (starting from office work to the current job; fishing tackle shop). The fishing tackle shop in stutong had been open since 31st August(More than 3 months jor). But the official opening is 16th October. Reason is because my dad wants the main shop and the one i'm handling to celebrate their anniversary at the same time. Anyway, I don't think my Heng Tai wants to know about the shop.

Overall, my life now is quite good. Been trying to wake up early for work each day but so far i only manage to do it a few times. I even set my alarm clock to wake me up at 7am and 7:30am(in case the first one fails). So far my struggle to wake up doesn't really work. What i found out is that i am not motivated enough. Each time i wake up, the first thing i ask myself is "will today be another good day or another bad day?" If it's a bad day, it's gonna take me 5-6 alarms to wake me up. If it's a good day, no need the alarm clock i'll already be awake.

Work life: Aside from the first and last 2 hours of the day, all is good.

Love life: Currently am single and still looking. Haven't been meeting up with any girls at the moment. Don't really have any chicks that i can get out after work. And Sunday is futsal / fishing day.

Health: Futsal on Sunday. But i'm afraid i'm gonna miss 2-3 matches as i would be in Aust. I think Australia is gonna kill me with their bacons and fats. ^^" I still remember i gain 3 pounds and a michellin tyre while i was there for 5 days. Wonder what i'm gonna turn out to be after 2 weeks?

Movies that i watched and recommend:

The Love Guru: Madagascar 2: Tropic Thunder: Red Cliff: <Tony Leung Chiu-Wai, Takeshi Kaneshiro, Zhang Fengyi, Chang Chen, Hu Jun, Lin Chi-ling and Zhao Wei.

Anyway.... that's all for now. Pray that i Come back from Aust alive. xD

Feeling Shitty

2008-10-14T23:21:00.003+08:00

Honestly, i have no idea at all what's happening to me lately. I just feel so small and so moody. Just felt like slamming my laptop and destroying anything that crossed my path. But alas, that is not my nature. Sigh~

Sometimes being good just gets u into a shithole. Especially when u're doing business. I understand that nothing is right nor wrong. But then how come all the things i do, only the wrong shows up? What a nice feedback!.

I tried to went to bed earlier on but only to be laying on the bed with my thoughts on my last relationship. Just cant really get my mind off her. Gee. this totally sucks.

And to you my fellow friends who thinks i'm living a good life. You're totally wrong. MY life seems better than yours because it just comes to happen that thay day u had a shittier day than me.

AMEN.

God Bless you all and Take CARE.

I ma gonna try get some shut eyes. Nites world~

I'm bored.... =_="

2008-07-08T16:55:00.005+08:00

Well.. i got bored and browsed through my laptops... then i found pics taken during the permai camp and so i decided to do some things onto them.

Yeah... i find it kinda lame.... do you? xD

Happy Birthday

2008-07-04T11:20:00.002+08:00

It's my day today. And i find no reason not to be happy. After 12623040 minutes of operating, I'm still running despite the viruses and worms that i encounter in my life.

Anyway, I wanna thank all those people who friendster msg, called, smsed and wishes me Happy Birthday. Thank you all and may the Saints walk wish you. xD

lastly, happy birthday~!

~!> MJ

3rd July ramblings

2008-07-03T12:49:00.002+08:00

12:50pm July 3rd, 2008

Aite... I just finish my lunch which consists of pork with sweet sauce + chicken + rice and to couple up with my meal would be a RM1.30 ABK(Air Buah Kundur) aka. Wintermelon drink. It's really a great thign to start of a day after sulking since morning for god knows what reason.

Lately i've been kind of emotional. Feel just like a liquid. I have no true form but i exist. What actually happened to me? Somehow i feel useless. Even those ppl whom i used to pity seemed to be living a better life than me.

I'm unstructured. By just reading back what i typed, it's all mixed-up. Like some sort of encryption code. >_<"

Maybe I should stop judging myself. Maybe i should stop making judgements.

Anyway, last night i went to watched "Wanted" with my fellow high school mates (A,M,C) + a friend which i known through futsal(H). The movie was good. But somehow i just don't seemed to be impressed with it. Maybe the trailer spoilt the action. Or maybe i was disturbed and therefore unable to concentrate on the movie. I still can remember how the storyline goes. But then thinking back it still doesn't seemed interesting. Hopefully "Hancock" and "Batman" would be better.

After the movie, i saw a stranger approaching me. And as he patted me on my right shoulder, I was a bit surprise + shocked and somehow, the 2002 incidents hit me back for a split seconds. My name was on his lips. "Hey ~! Lama tak jumpa! U macam mana sekarang?" Then only i realize that he was my secondary school friend. Boy did he changed. As I could recall, he was skinny when i last saw him..before i graduate from high school in 2001. Now he's quite meaty and as Mike said "muscular". Well, I still insist that he's meaty. During the 5 minutes conversation with him i was trying to remember his name. was it freddie? or is it frankie? I know he's the same year as me. My class? Ronnie? Hell no. DEfintely not ronnie. Alan? nah..... Then only after he left then mike told me his name, Caesar. Geez... Then all those flash backs keep zooming back into my mind. I still remember him. He just haven't appear for such a long time that i just forgot about it.

Next destination after Star is Petanak; which is famous for the "sugarcane sisters". Yes. U didn't read it wrong. It's actually famous because there's a stall owner selling sugarcane drinks that happens to have 4 pretty daughters. But out objectives there wasn't mainly to look or talk with the chicks. Well, definitely it's not in my objectives. Not sure about the rest though cause those 3 were talking about it. Only me n Chok we hunting for food. For food, I got myself a tomato sauce kueh teow for RM3.50. As for Chok, he got himself a fried rice cost RM3.50 (i think) and a bloody expensive small plate "kangkong belacan" which costs RM5.00. So how small is the dish u may wonder. To describe it, let's just say it's half glass. Yeah...that's how much the kangkong belacan is.

After a nice supper and some chit chat on rumors, evolutions, Fraternity/Maternity/Fertility/Fatality, we decided that it's time to get back and prepared for work.

And so i reach back home at 12:45am.

The next morning, i woke up, then sleep again. Woke up, sleep again.... and finally at 8:45am, I rose up from the bed and got myself ready for work. And there you have it. That's all.

Sigh~!

2008-06-27T15:19:00.002+08:00

Sigh . . . .
This guy is bored,
This guy is injured,
This guy is frustrated,
This guy is confused,
He's haywired,
Going insane,
Feeling lonely,
lame,
bored,
regretful,
and most importantly; LOST.

But he tells himself,

CHEER UP!

Why make today a lame day?
You can do better!
You are unique!
You are special!
You are smart!
You are GOD-LIKE!
If you're in pain, show it!
If you're hurt, feel it!
If you think you're living a shitty life, change it!
Go make a difference!

Stop being an e-mo lame-ass and start being productive!

And so here I am... blogging once more. xD

From now on, I'll start to blog again.

The End.

May Fishing Trip Diary

2008-05-30T13:56:00.004+08:00

Mon, 26 may 2008, 2238hrs

Going out with dad, bro, 2nd uncle, an Eastern Time reporter, Professor Dr Chong, Uncle Eng, Shui and their friends for this 3 day 2 night fishing trip. Left boat club at 6.29pm and will b arriving at our destination around 4.30am. Had a bad mood earlier. I'm okay now after taking an earlier nap. Kinda tired now. Need to sleep and get ready for video shooting tomorrow.

Tues, 27 may 2008, 5.30am

Reach destination around 4am. Dad made the first catch of the day which was either a trevally o tuna that weigh around 4~5 kg. Bait used is frozen squid.

Wed,28 may 2008, 0120hrs

End of day two for me. We're now at the mackerel fishing spot. uncle Eng, uncle Seh Foh, dad n my bro is still fishing outside while the rest are asleep. Today has been a tiring day 4 me. One of the cause is the hot afternoon and the 1 metre wave which was rocky and it make me felt giddy. Then again it could cause by me going into the hot deck and then going back into the chilling cabin that made me felt sick. To several naps that afternoon and only recovered after 4pm.

Today got quite a lot of big catch. I missed recording the afternoon fish session as i was in bed. Fishes caught were mangrove jack, red snapper, trevallies, juvenile GT, groupers, herrings and mackerel. Uncle Eng caught the first mackerel. Damn 7 tired adi. Nite.

Wed, 28 may 2008, 1055hrs

It was almost sunrise when i was woken up by the freezing temperature in the cabin. So i force myself onto the deck and found dad, uncle Shui, Eng and 'cikgu' catching squids. Squids were all over d place.
We r now on our way back to the boat club. Overall, everybody manage to land at least a fish. 2nd uncle got the biggest grouper n dog shark while 'cikgu' landed the biggest red snapper. As for me, i landed a grouper n a few herrings or sardine.
Estimated Time of Arrival to reach boat club 6 hrs. So we'll be reaching around 4:30pm.

Fri, 30 May 2008, 1428hrs

Is has been more than 24hrs since the fishing trip. To put a close to this diary, we reached the boat club around 4:30pm. Total catch should be more than 30 fishes.

Attached below are the catch of the 3 days 2 night trip.

Day 1 of Bursa Pursuit

2007-10-05T18:00:00.001+08:00

Erm.... i've come out from the silence....for a while. And seems like there are big changes in posting up stuff... either that it's my browser's fault ==" Having trouble with posting pics on the post and i nid to use codes instead of clicks now. geez... Anyway...

There's two things i'd like to share today.

1st: I'll be in KL to attend an 8-day course which starts from 13th Oct until 29th Oct. Heng tai, i'll contact you guys when i'm able to meet up with you guys. My homework for that course just started today and i have to passed it up on this coming Monday. ^^"

2nd: Just thought of sharing this game with you all. In case you guys never heard of it. It's called BursaPursuit.

Just go google "Bursa Pursuit" and it'll take you there. So what is this thing that i so wanted to share about? Well, it's an online web-based stock market game. From what i know, this site has been up recently and there's ads about it on radios. So what's cool about this game? Basically you signed up to play, either solo or gang up with a few friends to trade stocks and rank up. And what more better when they offer you RM100,000 (hard cash) to you if u happen to be the winner. Another feature is that the information, the stock updates are all based on the real Malaysia Bursa Stock (formerly known as KLSE-Kuala Lumpur Stock Exchange). It's really an awesome and educational game among all the games i've played before. I got into this game after an introduction from my junior Thomian, Bryan Tong.

Since i just started today, i still don't quite have a clear picture on how to play stock market. But i'm seriously devoting myself into learning it. From my research, i found out that Even Australia high school students are exposed to this trading stuff..... then again if i recall correctly, even neopets have it. ^^"
But this Bursa Pursuit is far more different that those i've played. It's the real deal. Only thing fake is the $ i have in hand. The starting $ for anyone who signed up for this game is $250,000. That's a lot ain't it?

My progress so far is that i earned a gross profit of RM1.18 from 10 units of BJCORP. My next market watch will be:

1) Silver-WA
2) BJCORP
3) HSBC-C2
4) AIRASIA-CA
5) PBBANK-01

So who's interested in this? I'm thinking of making a league for it. Let me know so we can gang up and earn that RM100,000.

PS: Angel, how's everything there? All good?

Signing of,

~> MJ

Fly me to the polaris

2007-07-31T00:46:00.000+08:00

Just feel like putting in some stuff here today and heading back to bed after that. Below is a short music clip from the movie "Fly me to the Polaris". It's one of the nice sad movie in my own opinion. The song is called 烛光(pinyin:zhu-guang)， candlelight in chinese sung by Richie Ren.

Life is so lonely lately. Each time i lay on my bed, there's this person whom i've been thinking of. I wonder how many person feel the same way as i am now. Sigh~

Anyway, hope u enjoyed it. :)

Oyasumi~

~>MJ

Busy busy busy

2007-07-27T23:42:00.000+08:00

I know it's been quite some time i didn't blog. Been busy, mates. And been able to use the computer for about 2 hours per day for personal usage nia. So you guys be patient ya. I'll update as soon as i can steal some time. :)

Anyway, recently i bought a RED item that costs RM280. Anyone can guess what it is? Those who knows.... shhh~~~ xD.

I'll post up the clue somewhere soon.

Heading to bed now. Nites all. God Bless~!.

~>MJ

Re-Cap of 6 days ago

2007-07-10T19:42:00.000+08:00

Been days since i've blogged. A few things had happened here and there. Coincidences are happening and they led me to think of what the other me in another parallel world is doing. If he is the better me, i bet he has already founf what he had been searching for and am in another country right now, fulfilling all his promises which he had made. Then he'd be more suitable for the title "Moses" rather than me, since of course he'll be truly a leader.

But what about the worst me? hmm... I guess i'd would be a triad leader in Kuching by now and am fighting with the cops now. Maybe that other me is already dead. God knows. ^^"

A heng tai smsed me and then called me yesterday. Got me really freaked out. Guess the facts of his life must've been harsh for him to accept that. "Slimy people"..if you listened to Hitz FM this morning then you'd know what does "slimy" means. Maybe some of you already knew. To put you readers out of the blue, "slimy people" according to JJ n Rudy (Hitz FM DJs) are people who steal other people's partner. Be it girlfriend, boyfriend, wife or husband. These types of people whom i think deserve to be despised the most. What do you guys think?

Anyway, What i really wanted to blog about today is regarding coincidences. To my best buddies and heng tai, my birthday turned out to be quite a surprise after all. That 4th july evening, my friend called me to have a drink session with them. just a few friends together. I knew it was my birthday that day. But didn't expect for daniel, a person whom i've known for 14 years to be planning all this for me. Summore i let them waited me for 2 hrs plus as i had to go and picked up my family who came back from Singapore. I felt touched. T_T Thanks man~!

Anyway, after the birthday song, and cut cake session, I got a call from M-chan. She tried to call my handphone but i left it in the car. ^^" So she got through me via Daniel. that was another unexpected thing... for her to call me and wish me. now here's when the coincidence happen. After that call, the waitress at that cafe went up stage and sang harlem yu's "Qing Fei De Yi". Deep inside me was like ..."WTF~!?#$@#" coz that was the song which i sang to M-chan. Is that a sign again? I told myself this, "it's just a lame coincidence." So here I am.. blogging about it. And then thinking of that old days. But i'm already over it. What i wasnted then was to meet with M-chan and see how is she doing back in Kuching. I got her number, but i can't find a reason to make that call.

That's all for now. The remaining days were just work, eat, sleep, dota. well, except for a particular night which I hanged out with Silas and Ek Zing. Was fun being back with them. Although there are some incompatibality at times, but in the end, we still mix quite well. After this friday, Silas will be to KL and GOD knows when i'm gonna see him. Well, I think i'll see him soon snce he's only flying to KL. Only think have to think is zing who;s flying back to U.S. 2nd August. that one i lagi tak tau bila akan jumpa dia lagi. ^^" Gonna miss his "Yen Wang" symbol~. Lolz...

To those friends who were there to celebrate with me, without you guys, i dun think things will be that cool. Below are the list of people whom i wanted to thank.

1. Yang Kah Mun -> First guy to sms, clal and blog to wish me happy birthday.
2. Daniel Liew 3 E, Alvin Wong and Ah Hong -> Master planner and the helpers.
3. Chok -> thanks for the "punishment" Thanks Daniel again for reducing the severity of the punishment. xD
4. My family (mum, sis, corine, ?) ->thanks for wishing me and calling/sms me. Without you girls, I wouldn't be where i am now.
5. 5sc2 gang(Kim Hang, Ek Zing, Silas & Amy) -> thanks for being the gang where i always go lepak at during recess period. xD Always wanted to be a level lower so can hang out with you guys the whole class period. But i just wasn't able to make that decision. ^^"
6. To the cyberians(Su Huan, Sim, MK) and malacans(...), tq tq~! ^@^
7. To M-chan, didn't expect you to call. and to thank you, i place you at number 7(your favourite number).
8. For those whom i left out your name, you guys/gals still play an important part in my life. Coz without you guys, my path taken will be in another direction.

My words to you all. Stay cool, live your live well, chill out when you're down and if you need something to light your candle, I sell lighters here. xD RM1.30 per lighter. Cheap cheap nia xD.

Am3n.
~>MJ

Happy Birthday to me

2007-07-04T00:22:00.000+08:00

To those who have wished me, thank you all. You are my true friend indeed. As for those who knew but didn't wished me, it's okay. Maybe u forgot. To those who forget, well, u r more forgivable i guess. xD

Anyway, been a busy day, and my freedom ends tomorrow. Summore i'm having a bad mouth ulcer right now. >.<" I think i'm gonna live a short life. LoL.

Amen.

~>MJ

Glimpse of a few days back

2007-06-21T01:42:00.000+08:00

In case anyone is wondering what the heck am i doing back in Kuching after graduated unofficially, I'm now working for my dad at his coffeeshop, office and tackle shop.

Work will started from 6:15am till late 10pm. But since i crashed the car onto a traffic light(correction from the previous post; coz i actually crashed into a traffic light), i get to wake up a lil' bit later and car pool with my dad and get to reach the workplace at 7am; or maybe 8am. xD

Anyway, my job at the coffeeshop is mainly being a manager there. For the time being, i'm getting myself used to the situation at the coffeeshop doing some interview and focusing on the cashier part. Then i'm to learn to make drinks and then serve the customers.

Seems like an easy job? Come and try it yourself.

I'm still having problems memorizing the price list of the cigarettes, drinks and foods. Anyway, the staffs there are friendly as they mostly consists of teenagers and young adults at the age of 14-26. The shop has been opened for about 2 years now and business seems well so far.

Then i have hte job as an office boy at the office. Well not really an office boy as i'm handling some important documents as well. More like a staff there. Currently i'm learning how to sort and key in the details of my dad's small business.

Next for the tackle shop, my job is basically to be a good host to the customer. Training my marketing skills and also developing PR skills. Aside from that i'll be developing a website to promote and sell the products at the shop. Old bean says if we can achieve a certain standard every month, he's gonna sponsor us for a trip to Japan. WooT~! But here's the catch; the target is a freaking high target. >.<"

Well.. that's all for now. I'm gonna sacrifice my time in this coming 6 months to work under my dad and at the same time sharpen my programming skills. Hopefully after six months, i'll be a more stable and able to control-myself kind of person. :P

PS: Mun, Rine...i guess after convo, it'll be a long time since we'll meet again. ^^" Anyway, add oil. I'll see you guys soon. :D Take care.

PS: Michelle Ang, how you doing there? Everything good?

~>MJ

Ran out of luck

2007-06-14T13:37:00.001+08:00

Just when you proudly ranked yourself as the person who is achieving 0% car crash record....shit happens. =_="

It was a terrible day yesterday evening as all my plans going out meeting old friends and planning a crazy birthday was all crushed with one stupid mistake of mine. I crashed into a traffic light while trying to evade a pearl blue Mercedes that suddenly intercepted my lane from the left. The Mercedes speed up after he over took my lane. Sigh~. thank god my friends that was with me were all okay. Not a single minor injury. But the car was in a terrible condition; front lights, bumper, radiator..maybe engine as well.. all gone!! >.< Traffic light still standing tall as if nothing had happened to it. =_="

I could've turned left... which was the logical thing to do. But why the heck i turned right?! OMG..... Anyway, bygones are bygones. I just hoped that my car's insurance can be claimed.

In the last two weeks, this car had been nearly involved in road accidents. There was once when it nearly get crashed by a druken bmw driver that was driving the wrong lane. And then there was this time when it got hit by a kancil until the bumper fell a little bit. My accident, the third one! So it's a STRIKE! And i rand out of LUCK! Geeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzz~!

SAD T_T!

~>MJ

2 beds and a coffee machine

2007-06-12T06:38:00.000+08:00

Just a song i find nice to listen to. Though it's a sad song. Savage Garden's not my favourite singer though. There's another version of it sang by a sweet girl.

*I'm double posting today*

~>MJ

To where i belong

2007-06-12T05:57:00.000+08:00

I'm going back Kuching today. A part of me is glad. But somehow i feel so empty inside. Something inside of me is missing. Question is what is that missing thing?

Hopefully my trip back will be pleasant because i'm bringing two bags and a CPU along with me. ^^"

Right now i'm reminiscing what happen 5 years back. How 5 of us sat in a food court and discussed about places to stay, transportations and other plans when we get to MMU. then how some of us split because they got a better offer at the local university. Some got scholarship to further their studies to other countries.

The first mid sem break. The first loss, the first torturing trip which ended me crying in front of those two friends of mine. Till today, they are still my best friend. Though they are a pain in the ass at times. :P

Then there's my second chance and i just blew it up. Lessons i learnt in life. Always be willing to give if you want something in return. Sincerity may not be the the best policy. Sometimes you just need to be a lil' bit cruel. Persistence is the way to sucess. Always believe in GOD. Because if you don't have anyone to believe in, you'll find out that you do not have a place to belong to.

Basketball friends. The first time i drank so happily. And even after vomitting i'm still so happy about it. Thank you all. Hanging out with you guys at the court were my best times. Sadly I don't think there'll be another chance to do so in the near future.

My failures. And how i climbed up from the pits of darkness to reach where i am now. Still, i have a long way ahead of me.

Where do i go from here? I'm all alone now at square one. Me and my bagpack. I'll work something out somehow. I always do. It's the beginning of a new chapter now. . . .

~>MJ

I feel like....

2007-06-11T11:10:00.000+08:00

Today is just a lame morning. I cant sleep. Must've been the caffeine. Now i feel so numb. >.<" It's like pinching on my skin and can't even feel a single pain. this is bad. Either my nervous system has gone haywired or i'm lack of blood circulation which causes lack of oxygen to my skin. Whatever it is, i just don't want to die right now. I got a future to create, a destiny to fulfill and a story to tell.

Ok... time for a break. Short break. Going to call kim hang up and send my package back to Kuching through Air mail at the post office.

~>MJ

I GRADUATED FINALLY

2007-06-08T23:45:00.000+08:00

I heard from my clan mate that result is out. Checked and this is what i saw....

WooT WOOT~! I passed all~!! I'm finally graduating~!! Nyahaha~!

Gee i'm so happy. So happy that i wanna share it with someone.

~>MJ

I'm back in Malacca

2007-06-03T04:52:00.000+08:00

After a week staying in CyberJaya, I have safely arrived in Malacca. :)

Places i've been to, people i met, stories i hear, it's all so new to me. Many things have i learnt. Many things have i came to understand. But there's this phrase which really bugs me. "The day I fall in love to you is the day I knew I would be rejected." Meaning of the words? I'll blog about it soon. For now, just enjoy some of the pictures which i have taken during my trip.

From left to right: Sim, Kah Mun, See Ying, Yuan Ping

BMW z3 and I @ PutraJaya ^^"

Corine n M-K

Pirates of the Carribean Gang

Surene n Ezriq @ Puchong Hill

Kah Mun n Su Huan taking a fresh air at The CURVE

~>MJ

Cyberjay

2007-05-28T21:51:00.000+08:00

Currently i'm at cyberjaya now, spending my break hanging out with my brethens. I'm not sure when will i see them again after i graduate mid of august this year. Rightn ow i'm unofficially graduated. I did my last papers and i think they were okay. Though my carry marks are kinda low. So it kinda bothers me as well.

There's so many things running thru my mind right now. So many things happening right now as i'm typing. My friend, ivan, is training for his gig performance this sunday, mun, taking his bath and maybe thinking of his "u-know-who", simmy...dono apa dia buat kat sana(means dono what he's doing over his place in malay). And ezriq, my new friend who is either taking his bath or ironing his working shirt for tomorrow while waiting for us to crash into his place. xD

So how long have i been in cyberjaya? Well, a day after my final paper. Took the afternoon bus and reached CJ(cyberjaya) at about 5pm sumthing. It was luck that day; either that it's freaking fate that got me to meet mun after months. I was suppose to stayed at see ying's place and waited for mun to come back from work before moving to stay over his place for the time being. But somehow, on the way to cyberjaya, there comes kah mun walking into the bus. And there was that surprise in his eyes as he tot i would've reached cj earlier. It was cool. how often do you get to meet your heng tai lidat? ^^"

First nite, we had a small dinner at see ying's place. I took a few pictures but sadly i didn't bring the cable to plug it into the pc. Dang. Anyway, that small dinner consists of me, kah mun, sim, see ying and yuan ping(wan ping). After dinner, we went back to take a bath before going for a stroll around putrajaya. At putrajay, they were having a rehersal for the "colours of Malaysia" which was going to be held the day after. the event was cool.. i guess. i didn't went for the evnt as i was in one U with friends wataching Pirated of the Carribean 3: At world's end. It was quite good how johnny depp acted. i laughed at the part where the rock became the crabs. But the kissing part between orlando bloom and keira knightley was kinda lame though. You will know once u read it. After the movie, we hanged out at ss2 murni. and after that asia cafe at subang to play pool n fooseball. and then there left 3 of us(ezriq, mun n i). We had an enjoyable nite.

On sunday, we just stayed in cyberia, took lunch n supper there. in the evening, mun's chief-tenant's boyfriend, aiman bought a new basketball back. So to the court we went. though i couldn't perform 100%, my team won all the games. ^^"

Aiman's back and i think it's time to let go the laptop (:P) . So that's all from me. c ya guys soon~ :P

~>MJ

Why make friends?

2007-05-17T03:39:00.000+08:00

According to our famous online encyclopedia, 'el WIKIPEDIA, Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behaviour between two or more humans.

It is undeniable in the fact that the more friends we have, the harder it will be in maintaining it. A lot of time is needed to keep track of friends' life, knowing about how they are doing, and offering a helping hand in times of trouble. Friendship is a bothersome. So why make friends?

REMEMBER. Put in mind that friendship is also a type of relationship. It's just a bit lower level compare to boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. And because it is a relationship, it involves love and commitment between two individuals; you and him/her. If either of you are not putting effort updating each other, as days pass, as time flies, the strength of the bond will become weaker. Unless of course both parties really trusts and have faith with each other. Just like how you put your trust and believes in them. Sometimes we even 'psycho' ourselves that the things we do are the right thing. "BELIEVE" "HAVE FAITH"

There are a few level of friendship; for my case, there's 3:

hi-bye friends(level 3),

potential friends(level 2),

and brotherhood/sisterhood("heng tai zhi mui" in my dictionary)(level 1).

Not sure about you guys and girls la.

Friendship, unlike relationship has their advantages, drawbacks and effects. Advantages that are available to you will depend on the level of friendship that are between you and your fellow mates. If the relationship is very good, you can share with them almost anything. And you will feel at ease, doing what you want to do in front of them; as to them, "you are you". You are not a tool; but a true friend.

Friendship, if fallen into the wrong clutches, is disastrous. There are people who take "friendship"not as a gift but as a tool to achieve what they want. I won't deny that i've never done this before. But it all depends on the situation. Always "give and more and take less". That is true friendship. If a friend takes more than what he gives, then he may just be your enemy. And you have a high chances of falling into a victim. And if you do, you will be fallen into the pits of hell, filled with anger, despair, hatred and maybe not even recognize yourself anymore. You will lose trust in others that treated you well, thinking " they want something from me."

When a friendship ends, the effect will be dependent on the friendship level that are between you and your friend. In level 3 friendship, you can lose a friend and yet almost feel no pain at all. As for level 2, losing them will be like losing a gamble. Because you do not know if they are your friends or enemies. And for level 1, losing them is almost like losing your identity. Well... almost like that. Imagine your best buddy of 10 years making you a scapegoat which ended you up in prison. Or your best buddy cheating on you with your girlfriend? Now ain't that hell? >.<" Friends comes and goes.

As we grow older, our circle of friends grows smaller. I've been there. I'm not the type that can survive alone. Therefore i need friends. Therefore, I am always seeking out new people to meet with. Regardless of their background. Just as long as they do not have a hidden agenda. At least you know that when you are in deep shit, somebody will get a shovel and dig u out of it. :P

Anyway, this should explains why is friendship important and why should we make friends. ~>MJ

True Beauty

2007-05-13T05:50:00.000+08:00

True Beauty

by Chad A Booher

Beauty is a thing seldom seen
No one sees it because no one looks
Or at least not in the right place
Beauty is held by all
Within the soul it lies
Waiting to come out to the surface
Only it can't
Beauty is suppressed by the evils of the world
Only love can bring beauty out
Once seen
Beauty never hides again
Not even hatred can deny beauty
Of it's true design
Beauty although possessed by all
Will only ever be truly seen by few
And fewer yet will ever see
One of the most beautiful sights
The beauty held by you

I suddenly thought of this phrase "true beauty" and decided to google it. And it led me to a wedding accessories website. Hmm.... is that an omen? nah~. i'm not to be married till i'm 28 at least. Hopefully by then i'll be financial stable and earning an annual income of RM100K. Then i'd have a son and a daugther. :D

Anyway, enuf crapping for now.. gotta get back to my study. exam in a few more days. can't play now. >.<" I'll blog more after i'm done with my finals.

PS: this is for @nG3L, regardless of what happens, i still think you are beautiful. :)

Am3n

~>MJ

I think I'm gonna be alone again

2007-05-11T02:39:00.000+08:00

Sad to say this. But seems like i've been receiving bad omen. If that's true, then i guess that when the time comes, i'll have to let go. They say true love is when your are able to let go, and at the same time willing to suffer for that loss. It is to understand why you lost it. And to tell to yourself that it is for the best of both. Right now, I just don't feel well. Some times i wish these sculptures i built would just crumble and drag me along with them. Feels like hell here. A cold hell.

Am3n
~>MJ

Can you name 10 ppl?

2007-05-02T20:05:00.000+08:00

I got this from a bulleting posted up in Friendster. Being bored and finding it interesting. I just took part in it. xD Here's what i think about these 10 ppl in my mind.

1. kah mun
2. jasmine
3. corine
4. sim
5. johnny
6. kelvin
7. ai ling
8. mike
9. kim hang
10. lawrence

How'd u meet 3?
-in class. same groupmate.. was in chee ai ling's gang. xD

What would you do if you had never met
number 1?
-I would never know that my other half actually existed? xD

What would you do if 6 and 2 were
going out?
- i think i'll be shock.

Have you ever seen 4 cry?
-as far i remember, nope... dun think i ever want to.

Where did you meet number 10?
-st3 prom nite(utopia nite rite?)

How do you know 8?
-he just happen to lurk in my class everytime during recess abck in highschool. Cool guy. U can see him on tv8 every sunday 10:30pm. xD

What do you think about 7?
-i scare of her one. Dun wanna make her angry. But she's a nice friend oso.

What would you do if 5 confessed they
loved you?
-sorry johnny, u may be the first guy i met during class in mmu, but i'm not gay. -D' End

A fact/or something about 9
-a reliable guy.

Who is 2 going out with?
-i wish i knew. Maybe it's better not to know. xD

What's 4 do for a living?
-i know he's still a student. Working part time in cyberjaya maybe.

Would you ever live with number 8?
-Of course. Cool guy to be with man. xD

Where does 3 live?
-penang island.

What do you like about number 1?
-this guy can fish almost any chick out. One hell of a sweet talker.

Is 2 your best friend?
-used to... i guess.

Do you miss number 3?
-saying no will be a total lie. She's my daugther~.

What is your opinion of number 5?
-a religious guy.

Is 10 a power ranger?
-i'm not sure. But i know he is semi-otaku. xD

Repost as: "Can you name 10 ppl?"

A lil' bit better

2007-04-30T18:12:00.000+08:00

Things just got a lil' bit better. But the nightmare ain't over yet. It's trying to lower my guard down. I just knew it. Had to be careful. One wrong move is all it takes to lose the game.

Anyway, life is a bit clear for me now. I saw the path which i must take. Sadly along the way i had to sacrifice things which are important to me. Few weeks back, i had a Lithuanian friend who sent me an e-book for me to read. It's called "The Alchemist" and is written by Paulo coelho. An interesting book on life. Thanks Dalia. It's an interesting book indeed.

The Alchemist tells the story of a sherperd boy who dreamt of finding a treasure somewhere in the dessert, near the pyramid. That was the second time he dreamt of it and he kept wondering about the message that was in the dream. One day, he visited a town and visited a gypsy who interpreted his dream. He doubted his dream at first but then he met with an old man who happens to be a king. The king told him stories and at the end of the day, he started a long an interesting journey to the dessert. Through his journey, he learnt to listen to the language of the soul, see what others didn't see and understood that everyone has a destiny to fulfill. To know more about the book, i'll suggest u go get it. So happy reading.

After reading this, I rethink about my past, and the future that awaits me. What is my destiny? Where am i suppose to go from here? Only one way to know - Read The Omen.

@m3n.

~> MJ

This just ain't a good day

2007-04-18T13:36:00.000+08:00

It's just not a good day. Here's why:

1st: It's a freaking hot day.

2nd: I haven't taken my meal yet.

3rd: I need to study.

4th: I think i need to clean the room again.

5th: I need more time.

6th: I have to finish where i left off.

Dark Dark Gray

2007-04-17T05:49:00.000+08:00

===========================================
My heart cracked that night. Not sure if it's what you've said. Or is it me. Why did it had to happen. Looking at one way, I might be the one at fault. But was it really me? Was what my feelings tell me wrong? Did i hoped to much? Did i hold on too tight? Or did i left it too loose?

I'm not in pain. So there's nothing to worry about. Just a lil' bit of sorrow within me. Just despair. That's all. You know something? The past has always been a nice no matter how you see it. Even though it was bad, realizing how you've manage to put yourself through those hard times really is motivating enough to keep you moving on. But at times, it might only be how you see things.

This feeling of ours. I'm doubting the reality of it. Is it real? Or is it just me? Within the darkness i lurk, trying to find the light in the dark. The dark light they call it. This is just not right. I'm asking myself again now. What do i long for? What do i wish for? Is this right for me? If it's wrong, then it's time to end it. The suffering is just too much.

One moment i thought i am getting somewhere, the other moment i realized that i'm still in the darkness. No matter how much i tried. May i just am not trying my best. I need to try harder. Or maybe working harder isn't enough as well?

I'm very low in morale now. Can't get myself to bed. Am waiting for the sun to rise and burn these undead bodies of mine, hoping that moment to be the end of my life. How does it feel to only be able to lurk within the shadows? Not being able to feel the sunlight?

This is the end. The sun is rising any moment now. And with this, my night will be over. And maybe that last night of mine will be forgotten by others.
============================================

You readers out there, in case you're wondering what that i typed above was about.... it's a mixture of my feelings right now. Some may be able to get what i'm trying to say. Some will just think negatively at what those typings actually mean. So to make it clear. I'll tell what it's all about. Though i don't think it'll really makes sense even after i explain it. Just doing it for the sake of contenting my soul.

What i wanted to say in those words isn't saying that i'm gonna kill myself. And it's not even saying that I'm a vampire. Nor am I a criminal.

I'm a pessimistic person. A person who holds onto a hope which existence is uncertain. It's okay if i don't discover the certainty of that hope's existence yet. Does that heart exist between us? It if exist, then it will be good. But what if it actually is just fake? Then wouldn't it be wasting time to just believe in that hope? I doubt a lot. There's time when i wish to be certain of the existence of that hope. And this is one of the time.

Aside from that. I'm not really in a good mood. Everything just seems so wrong to me. I know life is not perfect. But right now, it seems that doing nothing will just kill me. I miss her. Wish i'd planned my life earlier.

Somehow, I sense that my fire of hope is burning out. Does she really exist? I might have to extend my studies. Worried i am. If that is to happen, i think i'll just quit and bury myself in the darkness forever.

To my fellow friends:
Don't worry about it. You guys(and gals) know how to get to me. *winks*

-Am3n.

Six weird things about me

2007-04-01T01:32:00.000+08:00

Gee...i've been tagged by Hak Jeng to state out 6 weird things about me. And since I those person who likes to share, then i'm gonna expose to my fellow readers about me.

Rules:
Each one starts out by telling 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write (in their own blog) 6 weird things as well and state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave each of them a comment letting them know you tagged them and the cycle goes on.

1. I like to share.
Well, besides my @nG3L and clothings, most of the time I will share with people my stuff. I don't mind borrowing them stuff as long as they return them back still in good condition. I also don't mind sharing my food or drinks with other people as long as they let me do the dividing. And lastly, I like to share my dreams, experience, feelings and life with others. So i guess that's why i blog. Besides to keep track of my past.

2. I believe in the impossible.
I like to believe in those which other people will not dare to believe. I would try my best to achieve those that is impossible. Even though things that are impossible in the end really ended up as impossible. But still i will believe because if i don't who else will? Not gonna elaborate what this means. Some of you readers will understand. Most wouldn't. :D

3. I'm into weird fashion.
I like to be different than others. Because i believe that although we all do share some similarities with each other, at a certain point, there will still be differences among ourselves. Maybe that's why i'm always into weird but acceptable fashions.

I don't do tattoos. Not that i hate them. I just don't see a reason putting a scar on myself with a symbol. Earrings are fine with me. But i prefer only having only one earring and only on one side of my ear. I pierced my left ear once along with my daughter, Corine, at Alamanda CJ. It was a bit scary at first coz i was imagining all that pain that would be flowing into my head. But i was wrong. Before i knew it, my left ear was pierced. I wore that earring for like about 2-3 months only. It all happened because I forgot to put back my earrings after taking it off for 2 days. And when i tried to put it on again, the hole was closed. >.<" During my high school years, i like to spike up my hair. Not into those that looks like punk. More to those anime characters like the saiyans in Dragon Ball. Most probably inspired by Son Gohan of dragon Ball(image below).

Son Gohan Moses Ichimoku Ren

Back then i didn't know what gum, wax or glue were. I only know about hair gel. And boy did i used a lot of it each day. They say that using too much hair gel will make you bald. Well, it's not happening to me. ^^
Currently, i'm into 'emo' hairstyle. My front hair is long and they cover my eyes. But now they only cover the left side of my eye. I think it's most prob inspired by Moses of blood+. It seems to be the trend now since another anime also has a guy with one side of his eyes covered. And i'm refering that to Ichimoku Ren of Jigouku Shoujo.

4. I like to see people smile.
The greatest gift created by HIM would be a smile. Each time i see people smile, something just ticks in my chest and for that short moment, i feel happy. Seeing people smiling at each other is among my favourite thing when i observe people. When a person smile, somehow i can feel peace in my heart. So that's why i like to encourage people to smile. No matter how hard it would be to smile. Though at times, I myself do forget to smile as well. ^^"

5. I cut and trim my nails with my teeth.
Ever since primary school, I've developed a special skill which is to cut my fingernails with my teeth. You readers might say that it's biting and not cutting. Well, you may be correct. But i bit the nails like a scissor cutting a slice of paper into half. Or something like that. Not sure what made me do it. But i've been doing that until recently when i decided to stop this bad habit for hygiene purposes. Anyway, compare to using a nail cutter, I can cut my nails nicely with my teeth and then trim it. It feels better than using a nail cutter in fact. And in case you readers ponder, i do cut my nails during classes. When i feel there's a need to of course. No need the hassle of bringing a nail cutter. And no need to worry of stupid "spot-check" where they will check your fingernails. xD And in case you wonder which teeth i use as a nail cutter, it's my front teeth- the rabbit "teeth".

(PS: That's is not my pic. Just roughly showing where it is. ^^" )

6. I'm nocturnal.
I like to stay up late at night. Somehow i just feel more energetic and alert compare to daytime. Maybe it's the cool weather at night that's affecting me. Most of the time, I would stay up till the morning light shines into my room then only would i jump into bed. There was once when i really sleep my whole daytime away and woke up once the sun is about to set. That habit lasted me for almost a week. Some of my online friends even thought i was really a vampire. At times i wish i was. Since it'll be cool to be one. Or that's what i thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aite.... so now i'm done with the list of weird things.... finally. Took me 2 hours for this stuff. So erm... wonder who's gonna be tagged by me? Here are the list:

~> *@nG3L*
~> *Robin Wong*
~> *Ee Ling*
~> *Sot Sot*
~> *Kim Hang*
~> *Car Month*

Cleaning up my room

2007-03-01T01:59:00.000+08:00

This shall be my first post with pictures taken using a digicam. I'm currently using an old SONY DSC-P43. No complaints about it so far as a consumer.

1st March 2007

I got sick of sneezing for the whole day(eversince i got back from Kuching) and with @nG3L's encouraging words, I made a big decision to clean the room. So I wiped my desks clean, hand-mopped the floor and finally, cleaned the ceiling fan.

It was a 1 hr + task.

One of my problems while cleaning the fan wasn't carrying the ladder from the bottom floor. It was something else.

Notice something missing? If you don't Look carefully between the ladders... nothing in between the legs to support each other~! Geez... And i carried it without realizing. So what's next? find something to tie them up together of course. Sadly they weren't any strings o wires around to tie 'em up.

But guess what i found?

A safety iron bar for preventing those that are sleep on the second floor of the bed from falling down. And how did i put it into good use?

Tadaa~! Now how is that?

After cleaning two of the wings, i took a snap shot of the cleaned wings as well as the condition of the pail.(in the first 4 picture below). I also took picture of the last wing of the fan that i'm suppose to clean(last 2 picture). See how dusty it is?

Must've been ages since it was last cleaned >.<

Anyway, a few hours after i cleaned that fan, I stopped sneezing. So i guess it was the ceiling fan that's making me sneeze. Gee.

During the process of taking this these pictures, something happened to me.

"After taking those pictures, I skipped a step of the ladder and landed with my left leg; forgotten that my left knee cap was injured and not fit for landing. And then, SNAP!; my injured knee snapped and became loose, causing it failing to land me safely. I ended landing and the left side of my body landed on the floor; head landing last gratefully. Either it was my skill or luck. But I thank God my head misses the wall. Else who knows how long am i gonna be on the floor. Anyhow, I was stunned on the floor for like 10-15 secs.... maybe more... with pain vibrating from my knee. For a short moment, I thought I'm gonna lose my left leg. I hardly could move it.
Had to force myself to crawl up and rest for a few minutes before i climbed up again to finished the last wing of the fan. This time, I was very careful to climb up and climb down the ladder. One thing i felt lucky from that incident. The camera that was in my right hand was still in the air. My left leg is still working nicely."

Sometimes... life just ain't lucky for us. But still, look at the bright side. Before this, I has an issue with the ceiling fan. It was two years ago on christmas day and i got my right hand cut by a ceiling fan. I was trying to fold the blanket and raised my hands up when suddenly something banged on my right hand. Miraculously, my hand didn't get chopped off. More than that, it hit my hands and missed my fingers. I am so sure my fingers are going to heaven if the fan slice it. Although it was a deep cut, my hand bleed a little instead of blood spurting out of it(So blood don't spurt out from the hand aye? now i know.). And the picture below is just how it looks like.

Anyway, what i wanted to say is always be cautious; don't be careless. And remember of your weakness and how your surrounding looks like. Always remember~!

~Am3n

My two week break

2007-02-28T00:16:00.000+08:00

I'm now blogging from my 2nd home back in Malacca. The trip back from lcct terminal on Tuesday morning was smooth. Sadly i wasn't able to catch up with my tutorial class today. dang... so gotta go for replacement tomorrow morning 10am.

Anyway, here's life back Kuching since i came back on 14th February till i depart on 27th February.
14th - Vday
Met Tie at LccT. Aside from that, I also met Fabian Kueh and Sin yi and waved to each other. Wanted to talk with them but then when i approach them, suddenly they walk away. >.< style="font-weight: bold;">First, u gotta take the equipments out( the jack, spanar, spare tyre and err...a big sledge hammer(if there's any). If you don't have a spare tyre, Pray to GOD that your cellphone works~!
Second, find the place to place the jack. For your info, you can't just put the jacks anywhere u like. According to Kim Hang la. Else your car gonna end up torn into two. So it took us about 5-10 minutes just to find that flat surface below the car.
Third, jack it up! Yes... jack it up.. but not too up. Coz you gotta loosen the nuts at the tyres later on. Make sure that the tyre that you are taking out is still touching the ground.
Fourth, open the rim cover. If there's no rim cover, Proceed to Fifth.
Fifth, loosen the nuts. Use the spanar to loosen up the nuts. When you're able to turn the nuts with your hand, it's time to skip to the next nut. You need the energy to loosen up the remaining nuts. Keep one thing in mind when using the spanar. You DO NOT use your hand to un-spanar the nuts. Well, unless you're superman of course. *^^* So this is where you get ur sledge hammer and hit it on the end of the spanar that is tucked on the nut. If you don't have one.... here's wat u can do:
Option 1: get something heavy and hit the end of the spanar.
Option 2: Jump and land hard onto the end of the spanar. MAKE SURE IT IS A DIRECT
HIT. You'll have a chance of causing the nut shape to be blunt and harder to be
loosen later on.
Sixth, you have loosen all the nuts. So take out that tyre and put in the spare tyre.
Seventh, screw it up. Again, use a hammer or something heavy to hit onto the end of the spanar, or jump onto the end of the spanar to tighten up the nuts. To make sure that the nut tight, you will hear a "krak tak tak" sound. One ktt should be enough. To be in a safe place, make it a KTTTTT or KTT KTT.
Eight, throw all the stuff back to the boot of the car. Clean up.
Ninth, if you're driving using the spare tyre, DO NOT drive above 80 km/h(Malaysian Speed). You won't want to get a puntured tyre twice in a day now would you? Worst, you might have a chance of having a blown tyre and ended up in a car accident.

Use a double-signal light if you have to. Not sure if it's okay to do that; but i did it that night. And driving at 40 kph. >.<" Anyway, that was my 1 hr of fixing a car with punctured tyre. Was my second time only actually ^^". 17th - CNY Eve Stay at home, Online, family dinner at 2nd Big Uncle's house. Was okay. :) Packed and moved to 'summer house' for CNY. 18th - 1st day of CNY Stayed at home. Was stresful.. dono why. At night, persuaded my dad to let me go back "online". Thank God i did. And am happy i did. Though was still a bit restless. 19th - 2nd day of CNY First visiting Went to Janice's place with Jinn fu "guiding" me. Thanx dude, I had a hell of an experience with your crazy signalling and sudden turn of direction. I nearly had a car kiss my ass and nearly overturned my car. Geezz.... Afternoon came and i join my family visiting my maternal grandparents and uncles... then friends of my dad. Was okay... no comment. 20th - Second visiting Joined Daniel, Mike, Ivan and Alvin for CNY visiting. Went to a few houses. The most surprising house i went to was Jacqueline Lau's. >.<" That was because were suppose to go to Jackline Ng's house(younger sister of Magdelene Ng, who used to be our temporary teacher back then teaching maths). As soon as i saw Jacq's face, my mind started to "short-circuit". Things just didn't make sense for the next 5 minutes. I got mind-F. Was trying to draw out the connection of Jackline Ng and Jacqueline Lau. Both were totally different people. And how did Jacq Lau ended up as Jackline? I was saying to myself "OMFG. I've been chatting with Jackline all this while? No way~! I'm so F sure it's Jacq that i've been chating with. But this is.. this is.. Zzzz... Then i got braindead and sat at Jacq's place not knowing what to say. Only eating and drinking the entire 1 hour plus until Wei Thian came. Jacq's been a nice host. Keep refilling Mango juice for me ^^. Thanx JacQ! After that we head to Ivan C's place where we entered his room with old English style furnishing. "Lepak-ed" there till 7 or 8pm lidat till Frankie n Grace came. 21st - THE THOMIAN CNY VISITING Aside from that we had our annual CNY visiting session. 13 ppl joined the gathering. There was those from the dinner except for kim hang and then there's this girl called lydia(1985 from st mary which daniel bring) which tag along with us for the whole visiting. At Chok's place, we learned to play bridge. Was really fun; with Chok as the host of course. Too bad i had to drive that day. T_T Chok took out Chivas Regal and i can't drink coz i'm driving. I get drunk easily by the way. Called it a day off after that. At night, had Mahjong n BlackJack session at my place. Overall, it was nice. Quite sad u're not able to join us... :P oh well.. next time maybe? My frens took some pics so i'm now waiting for the pics to be delivered to me. 22nd - Squash n Norbit Joined Chok, Hak Jeng, Daniel, Mike and Ivan for squash that morning. Was fun. I finally get to sweat. Then we had brunch together eating kolo mee. Only Daniel "bei cham"(don't mix in hokkien), choosing to eat 'kueh chap' instead of kolo mee. Then we planned out to watch movie that nite in a big gang. Went for Norbit at Star Cineplex in a gang of 14 people consisting of 5 schools. There's Me, Mike, Ivan, Daniel, Hak Jeng, Chih Kok, Alvin(Thomians), Lydia(St Mary), JacQ, Pui Joo(ST3), Wei Thian,Frankie(Green Road), Grace and Gloria(Chung Hua Middle School no. 1). The first ever mix outing among kuching kias.

23rd - Footsal
Just for that game, I bought a new shoe at teh price of RM12.50. China brand. not a bad shoe since it was the same shoe that i wore to my high school and played basketball with it. 8:30pm futsal at Sentosa there was awesome. First time playing and boy it was andreline pumping. Di lots of mistakes though. ^^" I was the goal keeper for the first hour. There were lots og goals i couldn't saved. Then I made an own goal while trying to save the ball. >.< Not only that, I had a chance to redempt myself but I missed it. Just couldn't get the ball in. It was SO CLOSE~! Grrr... Oh well. It was fun eventhough i had blisters on both my feet and i can hardly walk. Had to admit. Then head to BDC expert for a drink with hak jeng who's leaving on the next day.

24th - 26th
Can't really remember what i did on that day. But I do remember @nG3L coming back to me on that 25th nite. Thank you GOD~! xD Was a nice chat. Though not as good as last time. Thing have just gotten better for me. I'm so grateful of that.

27th
9:20am flight from KCH to KUL Lcct Terminal was smooth. Everything was okay. Reached Malacca at 4:30pm where we stopped by at Jaya Jusco to buy battery charger n battery for my dad's digital camera which i took through my mum. Gonna start blogging and focus more on my studies now. No more gaming. That's all I can say and i'll do it. And May GOD help me.

B4 I end this. I thank all of you people whom I've met in this whole two weeks back in Kuching. Whether i know you or not, it doesn't matter. You have played an important role in my daily life. Domo Arigatou.

Am3n.

Thank you

2007-02-26T02:29:00.000+08:00

I'm not sure if she read my posts or was it HIS will. But i'm so thankful that i finally chatted with her today. It really feel nice to be chatting with her again ever since that incident. The waves not over yet though. But I'm happy since i know that I still have her.

Thanks for being there. You know who you are. I really appreciated it very much. ^^

Am3n

~>

What breed of Puppy are you

2007-02-11T23:14:00.000+08:00

I found out about this link from a friend's myspace. Tried it and find it kinda amusing. Since i'm a dog fan. :D

You Are a German Shepherd Puppy

Intelligent, quick witted, and a bit aggressive.
You've got the jaw power to take a bite out of anyone you choose.

What Breed of Puppy Are You?

Now how true is that? xD

I miss you

2007-02-10T01:05:00.000+08:00

I do not know when will i ever see her again. Honestly, I miss her. I still remember the first time i met her. According to her, that was the 2nd time she was using skype. My first msg to her was a respond to her status in her skype profile that time. I did thought much at first. Just treating her like any other mysterious online frens. But that changed... and i'm not certain if it's for the worst or for the better, but it was sweet. I almost could feel her.

Despite the advices that were given to me by friends, I'm still sitting here, wanting to believe. I'm sure i've tried my best. And I'll let HIM guide me and help me do the rest. Two weeks from now; No... I'll give it until February ends. Then i'll let this fairy tale slowly fade away, leaving only traces of sweet memories. I'll seal the chain in a safe place. And make it the prove of her existence; of my existence; and most important of all, the existence of those sweet times we were willing to sacrifice for.

I'm going to KL later on to meet with my best buddy and a few frens plus settling things which i didn't manage to settle last week-shopping for CNY clothes. Will be taking the 9am bus, most probably. So going to take a bath then head straight to bed after i finish blogging.

Before i end this post, there's one question which i'm really curious of. Why is it that when you think it's about to go for the better, life turns the other way around?
My answer-that's life; it's always uncertain. You lose some, you win some.

Am3N

Where to dine?

2007-02-07T21:29:00.000+08:00

This poll is strictly for thomians participating in the gathering only. If anyone that are not thomian wishes to join, errr.... contact me. thanx

Where to eat
Where to Gather for dinner on 16th February 2007?

hai pa wang
hong kong noodle(sarberkas)
ABC
rockroad Seafood
Open air
BDC one(RH plaza there)
Satay house
Lok thian
Civic Centre
Hartz

view results

What i feel today

2007-02-05T16:20:00.000+08:00

Today, I feel

->lonely

->sad

->lost

->betrayed

->heartbroken

->stabbed with a dozen silver arrows

->kicked from heaven into hell

->that my world has ended

->empty

->like giving up

->objectiveless

->that i'm filled with mistakes

->like getting runned over by a truck

->like falling down into a bottomless pit

Am3N.

She is the most important person to me . . .

2007-01-03T01:57:00.000+08:00

Me n my BB @nG3L have sucessfully made it till the new year~! Hopefully things will go smoother from now onwards. She's been very ill recently so all i could do for now is pray for her to get well soon and send smses containing encaouragement to get well to her.

Somehow, I miss her a lot. Haven't been really chatting with her for almost a week. Really am worried sick of her. It's just so stupid that i cant be there to take care of her at this time. =="

25 more weeks to go. Hope all will be smooth.

@nG3L, if u happen to read this, u're the most important person to me. Now and forever. Until this heart breaks and stop working like an old clock.

Sometimes, i think that i'm too foolish; but yet i still go for it; sumthing that i believed in.

Am3N.

Happy New Year 2007

2006-12-31T03:39:00.000+08:00

To those who read this, let us put on our best smile as we celebrate this last day of 2006 before welcoming 2007 with open arms, knowing that we have manage to survive for another year, able to survive through the worst, grown up, fall and rise from our darkest times and finall,y learnt to love.

To those who are single but not seeking:
If you're plan to enjoy your life, then enjoy it to your best tonight. Just make sure you'll still be able to stand straight until 2007.

To those who are single and seraching:
This year no fish, try year 2007. It's just less than 24 hrs away.

To those who are single and chasing after one:
Put on ur best effort today. One Last Try. Be persistent, but yet considerate. If she says No, live with it. You'll find a better one in 2007.

To those who are attached:
Cherish ur partner more on this 31st December. If you're a guy, be the first to whisper those three words into her ears softly. If she can't hear it, kiss her on the lips for 2007 seconds! I'm sure she'll get the point.

To those who are lonely and missing someone rite now and nothing much more to do:
Spread love ^^. Copy and forward this msg. Or just send it to an individual and put a msg at the end of this message. Whatever you do, dun think twice. Coz it's the last day of 2006 and you gotta know what you want to do.

For Everyone:
Write out you resolutions for 2007. It's time we plan our year and smile along the way together, hand in hand together.

With this, I end my crabby greetings to you all. I hope you all reading this will enjoy this last day of christmas.

Happy New Year Everyone~!

*ch33r5*

I'm not sure wat are my resolutions for this 2007 yet but will try to list out at least 10 before this year ends. ;-)

PM:<@nG3L 143 n noh ss!W D3viL *hugs*>

-04

I luv her

2006-12-13T03:14:00.000+08:00

Been a long while since i've blogged here. Well, wanna know what's new? I'm in love. Yes. I found my@nG3L. Though we haven't met face to face yet. But when this 7 months of endurance end, and if we can live through it, then I'll meet her. Plus of course i have to make sure that i'll pass all my exams. >.<" I must be graduated by then.

Ever have anyone sending u msgs; even if it's only a forwarded msgs in ur inbox, you'll have a smile on your face? I had once, but it didn't ended well coz of my selfish and cowardly mistakes. I'll not make this mistake anymore. Now that i've found her, never will I let her go.

Btw, if u wonder who she is, she's not my first. Her names, Michelle, my sweet lil' @nG3L. And a rare one of course. I'm blessed to have met her through 'skype'. Our existance, well we've known each other since the begining of september, the last month of my training. Was online that weekend late night when somehow I just found her on the skype search engine. ^^

Details to be added later. The reason i write this blog is because i can't hold on any longer my feelings for her. So hafta leak a bit of it out to control my emo. ^_^" Yes. i'm a emo person. But I'm not the only emo guy in this world.

That's all for now.

@nG3L, 1(I)-4(LOVE)-3(YOU).

Am3N.

week 6 and day 4 without internet connection >.<

2006-07-13T11:38:00.000+08:00

11.44am Thursday

Alleluyah~ Finally i manage to online in the library of my practical place. Heard that there's wifi in this area so maybe i'll bring my sis' laptop over next time(tomolo that is). ^^

What i notice about this place(the library) now.

1. The computer facilities here needs more improvement. coz there's only 3 computer that's workable(when i mean workable, i mean it's connected to the net as well. And well, sadly 3 of them are running in win 98. The other two could be win XP. =.="

2. The library is no library xD. Sad to say but i have reasons to say this:
- the library is small.. .it has books. but limited. (it's more like a resource center than to meet the requirements of the library.
- it's not so 'quiet' here. ^_^ but it's okay.. coz they dun seem ot be any students that felt disturb..

conclusion. I felt that it's more like a lounge. Well, since there's no lounge at this.

Hm.. .i'll pause here for the time being.. maybe get back when i get home ^^. Got things to do now. ^^

2nd day of industrial training

2006-06-06T14:42:00.000+08:00

2:51pm

Currently sitting in front of the pc at my desk surfing lowyat forum and blogging(DOH). Been having a running nose for the last 2 days adi and boy does it suck to be sick. I've settle my tasks given today and waiting for the next task to be assigned to me. Sigh.. bored i am boy.

Work ends at 5:30pm so i basically have another 2 and a1/2 hrs before i get back to life. Work is okay... but working without any work is boring. Lolz.. can't believe i actually said that. This reminds me of my days back then working for my dad....

"Maybe i'm spoilt, maybe it's the environment, maybe the people, or it could be other unknown factors; i just didn't felt like working at my dad office. In fact, eversince the first week working there, i've never been looking forward to work there for another time." But looking back now, the work that i'm doing now in TM is roughly the same; only that the workload is lesser(for now maybe). I guess i've grown up a little. This running nose maybe represents that the ice in me is melting. But still, it's lame to be sick at work n kinda gross.

so what work have i done here? Well, mostly student administration stuff:
1st- made a list of students who are accepted for industrial training for month june n july 2006
2nd- created a form for external lecturers to get their temporary namecards.
3rd- created hostel pass cards for the hostel residing students here in MMC.

Nothing much rili. Now i'm also in lowyat and took part in the bf/gf seeking thread. Kinda bored and since nbtd, wat the heck XD.

Wonder how's my other friends that are doing their industrial training doing? Nid to catch up with them soon. And maybe later gotta go buy some long sleeve. I think i'm lacking of formal wear. ^^"

Aite, Signing off for now. So thanks for reading if u do. It's nothing much. But it does help u kill time.

Amen.

The first will lasts longer than the second

2006-04-22T11:41:00.000+08:00

Basically my second hand monitor that i bought for RM100 is spoilt today. T_T What a freaking nice timing. So now i'm using back my half-naked, surgeonized, inconsistent and non-flat samsung SyncMaster 753s monitor . It's been with me for 3 years + now (going to be 4 years if it's survive till this mid June). I'd show you how my monitor looks like but too bad i dun have a digicam with me rite now. Damn~ dunno what am i suppose to do now. ==". Kinda gonna be a burden if i get myself a new monitor now.. then again~ it's PIKOM FAIR in malacca. Is this a sign to get myself an LCD monitor? HMm~~ how luring.

Anyway. progress for today:

FYP=0%; Time left:6 days
OS2 revision=0% Time left:1 day(for assignment) 3 days(for lab test).

Oh GAWDDDDD~....

oh well... i guess that's all for meto scribble today.. Sticking myself to sum 1 tym MV's from YouTube.

-Am3N-

Doomsday is Coming!

2006-04-13T18:22:00.000+08:00

omgwtfbbq(means oh my god wat the fck bar bee que in 1337) ... dooms day coming for me. All this while i've been in the comfort zone. Sleeping in that icy cocoon and not putting effort into doing wat i should actually be doing. =="

Final Year Project(FYP)
Dateline in 2 weeks more... and progress is still 0%. That's very bad. Very very bad. considering most of my friends are at least 50%. >.< wonder how i'm gonna survive this one? Tonight is where the work is going to start. So hopefully things will get going.. else i'm dead. =="

Assignments
Computer Networks & Wireless Computing & Resource Management ... 3 assignments requiring progrmaming skills which i do not have. omg.. .i'm rili falling fast. o.o I feel like i lost my soul.

Attendence
Yeap.. been skipping class like it's the end of the world and spending my times at home rotting... trying to run away from everything. Been really getting myself stuck with BS3. I have a few subject under 75% of attendence.. resource is one of them.. then followed by operating systems II. Hell..

Industrial Training
It's the last month of the confirmation for my industrial training.. and i've not yet confirmed my place. Dad wants me to go back kuching and do my industrial training. Yeah.. going back to do my industrial training would be the easiet and the most comfortable.. but i'm not sure about that. If i were to go back, the only reason would be coz i'll be meeting M-chan when she comes back from RSMU. Yeah.. we're not more than friends. So That point can't really convince me to work in kuching. Summore i'm sure i'm gonna work in kuching after i graduate. So I choose KL... reason? Coz it's the best place to suffer, to wake up from this hell of mine. Hopefully it'll cure me from this laziness of mine. Melt my heart, burn my desire. But the main point would be I promised Mun i'll be working in KL so we can spent the last few months of our times together as students. While we're still undergraduates that is. I'm confused of what i should do.. where would i ended in.

Time passes by. Manything i wanted to do. But i just dun have the enthuism to do them. If i manage to survive this week, i still have a few more weeks to go. And then the finals. Will i be able to survive it? =="

All i can do now is pray. And try my best.
-stop skipping class.
-reduce time spent in BS3.
-get enuf sleep
-start flipping notes
-get a life.

Hopefully i cna do those.

Amen

When you gotta do sumthing, you just gotta do it!

2005-12-14T05:39:00.000+08:00

Among the days in this semester, today has been the day that i did sumthing fruitful. They say that when people are to do something; when they have the heart to do it, not even GOD can stop him. Well... i did lots of stuff today. And i'm so damn frigging tired now. >.< But it's okay. I guess i can still stand for a few minutes blogging before taking a 3 hour rest. I'd just take it as if today is my final. ^_^" . Things i did today.

Format my computer. (Been wanting to format my comp but was too lazy to do it. Thank to the virusses, key-loggers and worms, and because i can't find any antivirus or cleaners that can save my main driver, So in the end i decided to format it. fortunately summore my housemate have the windows CD.

Clean the toilet(about 30% of it). Got sick of waiting for the formatting process so i decided to clean the toilet bowl, floor and a bit of the wall. The toilet ain't as dirty as you guys think by the way. Coz i've seen worst. Those that aren't cleaned and smells so bad that i thank GOD for it. ^_^ Search n installed some main files, hunt and send some cool stuff to my "cyberjaya family" and oso received cool pics of chibi-bleach characters from them. And among the bleach characters.. i have to be the bad guy, Ichimaru Gin. >.<"

Chat with P-chan. Yep.. P-chan ymed me so have to layan her for a while. After all, she's my "coffee" wat. She was bored coz her bf left her in her room studying while her bf went out for buffet. Well... good for me. Manage to spent some time chatting with old friends. Oh ya... and i chatted a few with corine n kah mun. They're such cool daugther and brother. ^^

Replied blueserver's forum about my search for teammates for DOTA. Housemate, judas_x (also clanmate) told me i got replies and hit me sum hints not to spoil the clan's name. Wa ei zhai lah vince~ Steady~ I wun cause such big problems de. No worries. I might be a noob but i not that noob.

So after that i played kal online for a while. Wanted to meet my darling Mich there. unfortunately she wasn't playing. Guess she busy going out with guys gua. Nothing much i can do. Just pray and hope God will bring me an angel who will lead me to my other soul.

Next was settled a bit of the new ITS membership thingy and ososome academic stuff.

..went to check some blogs, kennysia's, jas' and erm... sum malaysian thingy blog.
...
and then i'm here, BLOGGING. HEhe

Well.. that's all for now.

Am3n.

Close but yet not good.

2005-12-08T05:08:00.000+08:00

It all happen on wednesday evening after a dinner of chicken rice. I was at 7-11 accompanied by my two friends, JR n SL, buying a cup of slurpee*. Had to admit i'm addicted to slurpee. ^_^ But that evening the flavor they got rili sucks. Fruity n Asam. =.=" Oh well...

After 7-11, we headed our way back for class. We started crossing the road and then stopped in the middle of the road at the divider there as there was a lot of cars at the other side. Then sumthing bad came. I heard an "OI~!" yelling and as i turned to see what was going on, I saw a motorbike passing behind me within split seconds. As i turn to look at my left, I saw the motorcyclist's bike hooked onto my friend's bag, pulled her(yes.. it's her) and then action happen.

The bag broke, The whole motorbike started to turned to the right, then the motorcyclist flew out from his bike, turned twice, and landed with his body facing the floor of the road. My first glance was to my friend to see if she was okay. Then having her boyfriend taking care of her, i headed to the motorcyclist and try to pull him up. He was in a blur but consious state. The motorcyclist was an indian guy. As i help him up, I could see blood bleeding from his head and scracthes from his hand. Luckily he was able to get up. And his injury seemed minor. ALong came passerbys, indians coming to help the fella. I leave the guy to the 'macha' and then after seeing that he was okay, we walk away from the scene still shocked and with phobia on the road. We still had a few main roads to cross and I was already blur, unable to determined how fast the car was moving. Really a big phobia for me.

SL was emotionally disturbed. Man, who wouldn't? I'd freaked out if i suddenly got pulled and then next thing i know, a guy sleeping on the road. >.<" Fortunately SL wasn't dragged along with the motorbike. Although her favourite and most precious bag was spoiled, along with her file, she is sure fortunate that she's still standing there. Odd thing was that she was still able to complain about her bag. =.=" SL, if u reading this, i wanted to tell u, nothing is more important than life. The bag may be a priceless gift to you. But there are something which are more priceless. Thank God you're still standing. Imagine if u didn't, I would be asking myself ,"why the heck i asked u guys to crossed the road along with me." >'.'< Anyway, let bygones be bygones.

It might seem like a very bad thing that happened to me. But still i'm thankful that nothing worst came after that. I can imagine the worst that could happen. I'm still wondering. Why would the guy want to ride into the inner lane facing the divider instead of the other side which is definitely bigger and also no cars? Weird... I do wonder whether SL's bag broke off by full force or did an angel broke it. Coz when i saw the incident happen, I seems to easy for the bad to break apart. Hmm....

Anyway, i feeling like i'm starting to preach again. >.< That's all for now. Another time , another blog.

-End

Pierching the Ear

2005-11-27T03:46:00.000+08:00

On 26th evening, i pierced my left ear at Alamanda Putrajaya for RM6. I was a bit scared at first coz i tot it's going to a hell of a pain for me. But seems like i was wrong. It was merely a feeling of getting bitten by an ant. Then again, it feels like ur ear got poke but the item used to poke it didn't get through. Then again the girl sprayed anaestaetic on my ear before the piercing process begins. For the first 10 minutes after my ear got pierced, i barely had the guts to lay a hand on that ear. The thought of pain that i would feel really spook me. I had a bad history with human anatomy during my highschool days. During biology and science classes, when the subject's syllabus comes to the part about the human body, i would suddenly blacked out and collaspe on the floor. Basically i think too much about it. "Brain overload". That's the term i used. So far i fainted 3 times when i see and think of it... whether i read it from newspaper, clinic posters or even textbooks. >.<" Guess maybe that's the reason i hate Biology.

Time for me to get sum sleep now. Tomolo staying at Ivan's place for the nite, meet up with Tie, supper with Ronan(maybe) and erm..... maybe go find Exon.

PS: Anyone here can tell me what kind of earring is nice or looks cool when worn on? I prefer those with small needles. ^_^

-End of post-

Happiness

2005-10-02T06:49:00.000+08:00

So wat's happiness? Well according to Wikipedia,

Happiness, pleasure or joy is the emotional state of being happy. The definition of happiness is one of the greatest philosophical quandaries. Proposed definitions include freedom from want and distress, consciousness of the good order of things, assurance of one's place in the universe or society, inner peace, and so forth. More generally, though, it can be defined as the state which humans and other animals are behaviorally driven towards, to counter external forces which would otherwise lead to unhappiness (and presumably eventual death).

Associated emotions include joy, exultation, delight, bliss, and love. Antonyms include suffering, sadness, grief, and pain. The term pleasure (like its opposite pain) is often used to specifically indicate localized, physical sensations, while happiness is sometimes used to refer specifically to a long-term, inner feeling.

Happiness differs from joy and glee in degree, if not in kind. To be happy implies a considered viewpoint which lasts longer than the transitory feelings of pleasure which are connoted by joy and glee. Thus happiness is often regarded as priceless, as opposed to the temporary pleasure stimulated by mechanical actions such as shopping or having sex.

However, happiness can come as the result of a situation which has been carefully planned for, as well as from situations caused by the kindness of others, or from situations which upon reflection feel positive and worthwhile. More typically though, happiness is attained by an entire life well planned for. The question of the best form of life is one of the major topics of Ethics.

To me happiness is sumthing like above. In My Opinion(IMO), i think happiness isn't sumthing that lasts long. To achieve happiness, one have to work hard to gain it.

Today, as i glanced through friendster, I notice this good friend of mine, also my dearest heng tai(brother) who should be achieving happiness. But is he rili happy? There are times when i see him laughing his ass off. There are oso times when i see him filled with probs. I guess i'm just not good at understanding others. =.=" But i do know one theory. Humans are beings that are not easily satisfied. That's what makes them unhappy at times. So they usually work their way up to reach that level of satisfaction. So mathematically, satisfaction=happiness.

Sounds crappy above. >.<"

NIGHTMARE~!!!

2005-09-09T04:33:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow's my 2nd test for TCE2311- data communications and telecommunicationsand i've only studies 2 chapter of 8 chapters. But wait.. this ain't my nightmare.

So what happen was this. I had a dream. After finishing 2 chapters, i decided to get a rest. Then next thing i know i close the lights and head to bed, decided to wake up the next morning to do my revision and settle my other stuff. And this is where the nightmare comes....

I dreamt i was in a beach.(sematan maybe..) playing along the beach in a singlet and short pants. My age.. around 10-13 i guess. At that beach, i was running away from sumthing. Can't really remember. Then i saw my parents and all those fear just vanish. Next thing that happens i became an adult. And in the car was me and my siblings. Driving around the hillside where we. Those rocky hills. It was dark. Really dark and there was no street lights at all.

We were on our way to have dinner with my parents i think. Coz at first i remember it was my mum who was driving. Then all of a suddenthe driver became my bro. >.<" Spooky. What's worst was he got the car gone into a big deep drain. And i tot it was hopeless. We're all going to drown. "Damn.. told you to look properly on the road already. Can't you drive a bit slow?". "but there was no road at all," he answered. My younger sis were trying to stop us but no avail. "then why the heck you drive in there? give me the steering wheel." "no. I can drive." And somehow the drain becomes smaller and shallower and he manage to drive us out and and head for the hill on our way out. And that is when i woke up. Or was there more?

The future..is dark for me. Tat's how i see it. I dunno about you readers out there but i can't really imagine me myself getting a job. I don't see anything that im capable of except papers and pencils. Wonder why i'm studying in this subject? Still wondering. What was my reason of studying it? I guess i've forgotten.

When i awoke from my dream just now. The first thing that hit me is my parents. Could be because my family is the most important asset in my life. I'd always prayed for them every night before ihead for bed but somehow, i stopped. What's happening to me? WHat did i lost? Which part went wrong>? Which item did i not bring along with me? Man i was in total chaos for like 10 seconds. Fear ran thru my spines for a while there. But i'm okay now. Guess it's those moody days that got me into this. Had been stressful for the past 2 weeks. Still a bit stress about my TOS assignment. I dunno hwo to save my ass from the coding. Dun wanna fail anymore. Dun wanna score low anymore. Wish i have someone there to guide me.

Currently listening to jas' song. (Yes. she's my first love. I loved her dearly. But now only as a friend. I have a virtual person whom i haven't met yet, Mich. she could be real, then again she may just be fake. I do not know.) Boy does her song clips really decrease all those stress and fear within me. Thanx jas.

Should stop for now. I just tot i should blog this out because i dun want to waste my time just slacking off in DotA and not writing a part of my life. I want to remember this day when i have this nightmare and be able to learn from it, and then laugh about it.

PS:
To ya all peeps that are have a bad day, get your grip on. Then pray and wish your self good luck before heading on your ways. That includes me of course. Pray to GOD guys n girls... HE helps~!

Am3n.

"wo hai bu xiang sui"

2005-09-01T04:10:00.000+08:00

Guess u readers might be wondering what the title above means. In mandarin, it means I still don't wanna sleep.

Right now my body is tired; mind's exhausted as well. Can say that this s the first time i've felt pure tireness after years living. Forgotten have i of when i felt that tired. Maybe when i was still a kid? Hmm...

Lots of things to do and lots of things to rush this week and next week. Life is gonna start to be hectic. Wish i can pull myself together right now and make myself 'serious'. It's so hard for me to be serious in life. There's always those milestones that'll stop my wheel of life from rolling. In the end, i'd be stuck in the middle of nowhere, far away from others that it'll be impossible for me to catch up. I should be sleeping now... I guess i will. But the desire of wanting to see her and chat with her is keeping me from sleeping. Been 72 hours. I guess our story ends here.

Am3n.

Doing Stupid things

2005-08-26T06:10:00.000+08:00

Have you ever do things which causes you problems in your life later on? Like you cheated in ur midterm and when final comes, you couldn't do it cause you just don't have the knwoledge for it. Sounds familiar doesn't it?

What is happening to me right now is that I've gamed too much. I lost control of myself over game addiction. And i'm about to lose someone special to me, lose my freedom and my very own soul. What am i to do about it. I really ponder. If GOD would help me right this moment, I really pray. Pray that i'll not lose her, pray that everything will still be on time for me. Pray that luck is still on my side. The sacrifice for those that i prayed for; anything GOD wants from me.

The more i think of my problems now, the more scared i am of life. I really have tons of things to do. Furthermore, I'm very left out behind already. I wonder if i'll ever catch up with them? I'm worried that i'll be left behind. Worry that i'll be forgotten. Because I do not play any part in their life.

This is the life of me. Even though how much i tried, in the end, i'll stop trying. my wheel of life stops rolling, and my faith crushed.

Am3n.

A new person in my life?

2005-07-06T18:35:00.000+08:00

It all started this year i think. DotA(Defence of the Ancients) that i met her. To be certain, I dun think my first encounter with her was in a DotA game. I think it was more of like in a TD game. Then again i couldn't remember. Just knew that the next few times were in TD games or some other castle defence game. She's good in gaming. Can say one of the girls i knew and am impress with.

I wanna graduate ASAP~!

2005-06-15T12:57:00.000+08:00

I wanna graduate ASAP~!I wanna graduate ASAP~!I wanna graduate ASAP~!I wanna graduate ASAP~!I wanna graduate ASAP~!I wanna graduate ASAP~!I wanna graduate ASAP~!I wanna graduate ASAP~!I wanna graduate ASAP~!I wanna graduate ASAP~!I wanna graduate ASAP~!I wanna graduate ASAP~!I wanna graduate ASAP~!I wanna graduate ASAP~!I wanna graduate ASAP~!

Please don;t mind my whackiness but seriously i really wanna graduate as soon as possible. I wanna end this race and step on for the next race as sson as possible. The ball must keep rolling. Else there'll be no meaning in my life. Well... that's what a wise person says. I'm not sure what i want actually. I mean i do wish to graduate. But i still cant find any path in which i would really wanna walk to. Maybe i haven't analyze through yet. Man.. this is bad.... Totally bad.

=.=

HMmm.....i'll just hit the books and see how it goes anyway.

I wanted so much to sleep...wanted so much to forget and wake up fresh the next day

2005-05-31T07:05:00.000+08:00

Things in me are improving...in my preparation for supp that is... But still i'm having a problem with my sleep. Cant manage to get my mind to a rest. I've got an e-mail from a friend that states honey helps. Alas i do not like honey. Plus there's no honey in my room. So i guess i'll just wasted all my energy up and hope one day my whole body will crumble and my mind blank that i wouldn't have too think of anything much. Maybe sumthing like a comma for 8 hours would do. Haha. just kidding anyway. :P Who would wanna sleep like a "cabbage". I prefer sleeping in dreams. But i have to put myself to bed first. Problem again is sumhow my brain isn't willing to. Oh well.

guess i'm gonna dota till i get X-tREMELY EXHAUSTED~!

-Ic3

Missing chances

2005-05-30T02:28:00.000+08:00

I see lots of chances slip by me. Wonder when will i learn not to miss them?

Hope lost...along with Faith.

2005-05-22T03:06:00.000+08:00

Life lately hasn't been how i thought it would be. I'm therefore unknowingly sealing myself from all sorts of happiness as it seems. Nothing much seems to interests me rite this moment. Is there anything i can do about myself? How do i get myself back on track? How do i re-live my life? Can anyone help me?

So far the only answer i got from myself is "only You(me) can do it". Weird isn't it? The mind seems to know what's best for the body but yet the body refuses to do it. Same as life.

Currently thinking of other options to fix my idle life. Hmm.....

Sumthing I like.

2005-04-02T03:55:00.000+08:00

Check this link out. I'm sure u guys/gals will like it. ^^. I've watched this video a couple of times eversince 2001 and i can say that i've never gotten bored over it. It's a nice Korean MV. Hope you guys/gals will like it. :)

http://dnaoffice.dyndns.org/matrix/KISS.wmv

Stress Time~! Stress Time~!

2005-03-25T08:01:00.000+08:00

Currently is the last week of the academic week, which means after this week, no more midterms, no more assignments due and no more boring lecturer. Unfortunately, I still got lots of things to do and the clock is ticking like a timebomb for me. SE individual report due today, TRM assignments due tomorrow and lab test tomorrow. And what's special for today? I have to go pay up for my academic fee coz my PTPTN loan just wouldn't come. Damn.. Should've called up PTPTN ealier if i knew this would happen. If i dun pay up i'm going to get BARRED from exam. Sigh~. Messy life i have here.

Everything's totally messed up this semester. Really really really really messy. Hopefully it'll all change by next semester. Pray to LORD.

AMEN.

He was not handsome

2005-03-09T03:04:00.000+08:00

I got this from friendster. The story is nice but i'm not sure if the story is true though it make sense.
Work your way for love and you will find love. Amen.

This is based on a true
story.. If
you like it, re-post it.. Perhaps you will find the
love
you have been waiting for all this time..

He was not handsome..But he had feelings..
One day, he felt in love with one gurl..A
gurl he really had a crush on..But he
realized that he was not handsome..So he
kept it deep inside his heart..

He was not handsome..Knowing this, he still
approached the gurl he admired..Upon
approaching her, he asked her name and
asked for her number.. They came into
contact with each other..The guy was so
happy
and he felt nice talking to the gurl..

He was not handsome..He had to remember
this all the time..He knew he couldnt say out
his wish to the gurl..However, one day, he
took up the strength to call the gurl..When
he was about to pick up the reciever, the
phone
rang..It was her..His crush...His gurl of his
dreams..she asked him out on that
night..There was no reason for him to say
NO..That night, they went to a restaurant..for
dinner..

He was not handsome..This was proven to
him at that night..When the gurl told him that
she had a crush on another guy. his heart was
crushed into pieces by his own crush..but he
didnt
say a word..He knew it..He was not
handsome~!...

He was not handsome..and he knew he
wont
get his gurl of his dream..So he intended to
help the gurl out..He took the gurl to the guy
whom she had a crush on..After a week, he
saw the gurl dating with the guy..He knew
that there is no more hope for him..

He was not handsome..and this made him
loose his love..He just kept his feelings deep
inside his heart..But it was okay for him..as
his love was happy with the guy she loved..

He was not handsome..but maybe his
powerful love brought his gurl back to
him..One day, the gurl came all the way
crying to him..she said to him that she lost
the guy,the guy play timer and dumped
her..she
was all in tears and didnt know where to go..

He was not handsome..but he loved her..He
wiped the tears off the gurl and gave a warm
hug..The gurl felt the warm feel gush through
her nerves and touch her heart deep
inside..she realized that this is her true love..

he was not handsome..but he found his love
finally..and he was happy ...

p/s: looks are not really the most important
thing in love..Consider the feelings of
the ppl around you..You might just find
that true love of yours..He may not be
handsome..but he might love you more than
anyone could ever love you!.. and that is
greater than some bastard idiots who
doesn't love u.

If you think they're true, pass it on.
If you don't? Pass it on anyway, maybe
someone else will think it is.

Ulcer~!~!

2005-03-08T02:31:00.000+08:00

DAmn ulcer growing beneath my cheeks near the upper teeth, below my upper teeth and infront of my upper teeth. GEez....wat a nuisance they are. Anyway, these are sumthing which i got frm the web. Sumthing to share. ^^

Mouth Ulcers

Despite the common occurrence of mouth ulcers and vast amounts of research, the cause of these irritating sores is still not completely understood. However, by far and away the most common cause is the infection of an injury in the mouth. These injuries can be cuts, abrasions or burns.

A mouth ulcer affects the softer areas of the mouth, for example the tongue and cheeks. The surface layer of the skin is removed leading to the formation of the ulcer which usually appears circular with a yellow or white centre and a raised red rim. It is because of the removal of the skin layer that nerve cells are exposed causing the associated pain.

You should not attempt to treat a mouth ulcer yourself if:

you are pregnant
you are diabetic
the ulcer has an uneven colouration
the ulcer is causing you no discomfort or pain
it is your first mouth ulcer
it has been present for more than 14 days
it is larger than 1cm in diameter
you take any other medication

Treatment

There are many types of treatment available. These can be placed into three main categories:

Pain Relief

These products contain ingredients which act to prevent the sensation of pain. They usually contain an anaesthetic which is applied directly to the ulcer. After some initial stinging while the anaesthetic starts to work the area will become numb.
Care should be taken with hot food and drinks as further damage can be caused to the ulcer while it is numb.

Some examples of the anaesthetics used are benzocaine and lidocaine.

Also available is an ingredient called choline salicylate which is related to aspirin. This pain killer works at the site of the ulcer in the same way as the analgesics or pain killers. This means that they are generally longer acting than the anaesthetics.

Choline salicylate should not be used by people allergic to aspirin.

Antibacterials

These treatments are used to kill any bacteria that may be infecting the ulcer or more generally the entire mouth. They are usually mouth washes if the antibacterial is the only active ingredient although they are often incorporated into the other treatments, for example, pain relief treatments.

Anti-inflammatories

These are the newest treatments available for mouth ulcers, they are based on corticosteriods which act to reduce the inflammation at the site of the ulcer and as such aid healing.

It is important to note that the use of these locally acting products avoids many of the associated side effects of oral corticosteriods.

General Advice

There are some simple things you can do to reduce the discomfort felt while you have a mouth ulcer.

Firstly, do not expose the ulcer to foods which cause pain and aggravate the symptoms. These types of food are acidic, spicy, salty, coarse or hot and cold. However it may be of some benefit to gargle with salt water as this is mildly antibacterial.

You can also use mouth washes regularly to prevent mouth ulcers if you find that you are getting mouth ulcers regularly.

You should consult your doctor if the problem persists..

Another Idle and yet, Tiring Day

2005-03-06T08:59:00.000+08:00

I'm tired... ^-^; Hitting the sacks now.

-Ic3

A night to remember~!

2005-03-04T08:09:00.000+08:00

It was just yesterday evening, around 9pm when I got a ym! msg from ah_peh(birthday boy) asking me whether I want to go for 'satay celup'. I accepted the offer since it's ah_peh's invitation and I haven't taken my dinner yet (due to the rainy day~). So I got dressed up 'casually'(a T-shirt and three-quarter jean-pants), waited for Kim Hian(Ultraman) to pick me up while I try to sing my voice out to the song 'iris' by goo goo dolls. My voice sucks btw. ^^'

Minutes later ultraman arrived and off we go to Capitol. When we arrived there, the seats we all full. So we waited for like 10 minutes until the next group of ppl leaves. The meal there was pleasant and we were served with octopus and BIG tiger prawn. The last tiger prawn given was really big~(Compare to the other tables. Ppl were staring at our prawn when KY started to be HIGH with the prawn. He was like "Omg~! this prawn is so damn big." */swt*) It was about 20cm long. And the best part was it costs only 50cents. ^^; God for ah peh lah. Birthday boy got his birthday gift from Capitol as well. Haha. So how much we ate that nite? Well, it's RM130. 0-0; It's expensive but it was enjoyable.

Next on the list was the 'yam char' session. And destination was PURE. We shared a JD(Jack Daniels) that nite. Took 8 of us only 30 minutes to finish the whole thing. And boy that wasn't just all. B-kun(the' kun' isn't a referring actually. It's more referring to 'stick' in hakka.) then suggested that he treat us all on a bottle of Hennessy VSOP for that nite. Boy was I really starting to get freak out. I never drank those heavy stuff before. JD was my first time. And VSOP is also new to me. So he opened the drink and then most of them got HIGH. Ping, Tham, KY, Peh, Ultraman and B-kun were all like drinking the stuff raw. No soft drinks mix together. It really amaze me seeing how good they are at drinking. 0.0.

That time my body was already heating up and I could feel my burning face, so I decided not to drink anymore so I could drive them back in case they got drunk. So I told Kah Ling to drink on my behalf. Unfortunately I was spotted by them and this is where the bad things come. They started to stare at me with evil thoughts in their mind. What else could it be except that B-kun took my glass which was filled with coke and drank it, then replaced it with VSOP. I was starting to imagine me getting drunk for the very first time. Luckily for me, I manage to negotiate them that I'll finish the drink but little by little. I tot I would be drunk after that but instead of getting more drunk, my mind was getting clearer. But that lasted for like only 10 minutes =-=. Best agenda of the night was ah peh got persuade to drink 4 shots of tequila. B-kun wanted to treat me but I said no. Tequila shot is like more than 40% alcohol. Which means it's much more heavier than Cognac or VSOP. So the nite ended with a drunk ah peh and fortunately Ultraman was still conscious. So my worry of getting involve in something bad was just a dream.

Reach back home at around 3am and as soon as I reached my room, my stomach started to go wrong. I quickly rushed to the toilet and I was just in the nick of time to 'bulemic' the 'satay celup's and also those 'tea' out. ^^. I vomited for like 7 times. And i can tell u that it's not a good feeling when u vomit. But u do feel better AFTER u vomit. I slept on my room's wooden floor that nite and hours later slept on my bed coz the nite was getting chilly.

And that's all for today. I woke up at 6am with still a bit of pain in my head. But right now i'm okay. ^^. I found out sumthing that nite. I could actually drink and not get drunk. Only problem is I'll vomit after that. ^^;

PS: M-chan ym me tonite but byt the time i got back, she was already off9. T-T. Oh well...

-End

1st of March, 18 days before M's b'day.

2005-03-02T04:37:00.000+08:00

Not really sure what should i blog today. So once more it's crap session. ^^; Currently listening to John Mayer's "daugther". Had a very f*** up day 12hrs back as my tcp2411 group's presentation totally suck. Lots of things went wrong. It was so bad that our programs went wrong. It was working at first. But why not then? Fortunately Ms. Vimala was kind enuf to let us "live" until this friday. After that i had to rushed back home and settle my "stomach". >-<. Now i have to go for 10am lab later on. So much for the stomachache.

Got my exam schedule today. But venues are unconfirmsed yet. So maybe after i've got kim hang's schedule, and plan a bit coz i plan to visit kuantan, then i'll plan my flight date back home. ^^ Miss home. But miss the puppies more~! Wonder how are they now? Sigh.

One thing kept going through my mind these few days. "How am i gonna sort up my life?" My life is really in a mess right now. Gotta get "FAT", get a good sleeping habit, get tidy and most important of all, do well in my studies. Help me sum1. Anyone can do.

Don't feel like cont. crapping. So that's all. Tata.

-Ic3

Rainy day~!

2005-02-27T05:16:00.000+08:00

After nearly a week of hazy days accompannied by the glaring sun as well as the hot environment, it finally rained. So i'm gonna finish this asap and then head for bed. So wat happen past two days? Well, i did a last 3 hrs of preparation for Trinite. Haha ^^; Got the car(a rent white kancil) at 4 and then went out with Allen to JJ to hunt for formal shirt and a tie. Costs me about RM106.80 for the shirt and the tie. And to sums up the expenditure for that nite, i used up about RM200-. T-T Rent a kancil for a day costs me RM70, drank carlsberg at GreenWorld cost me RM12, Petrol fuel costs me RM10. Trinite was so so~! Not really fun but well, it does feel like a prom nite compare to last year's one....from my own perspective that is.

So 12 hours ago we were suppose to go on a steamboat for dinner. But ended up having dinner at Newton hawker stall instead. Spent like about RM15 for the food but it's worth it~! Much better than steamboat. Next agenda was at 11:30pm where tie, li zhao, chak gor, jin rong and i went pasar borong for supper. The conversation were mostly on IT-based. Kinda boring for me but then the part about FYP(final year project) hits me. Yeah..we're gonna make up sumthing big and earn cash from it~! F*** MMU. You cna go to hell for as long as i care~! Muahahaha~!! ^-^;

Anyway..i think p-chan would be glad for the rainy day tonite. Air is cooling and it's so nice~!!! Time to sleep liaw. Haha. Guess both our wish for the rain to come finally happen ei? :-D

That's all. nites~!

Lost my precious memories...rebuilding a new one

2005-02-24T06:38:00.000+08:00

Current mood: swingy Currently listening to: M's - "2 beds and a coffee machine"

Okay...so i finally got a new replacement for my "dead" 40GB WD-caviar HDD. Sigh~ lost all my precious things there. But luckily i backed up the important stuff. Only things i forgot to backed up are the databases and the msg logs... oh well.

Anyway, time now is 8.14am and i just finished my w3-DOTA. It was a tough victory. But the cooperation paid off~! Managed to get the creeps to raze all the production buildings. Hahaha. fd...I pound ya first~! Come and get me dude~! ^^. Anyway, no flaming pls. 0=)

Next class in 1 hr n 45 minutes. And worst part is i haven't slept through the whole nite. Damn. Oh well...guess I'll have to stand thru this whole 8 hrs...^^;

M-chan's voice is really sweet. But unfortunately the tone of her voice sounds like she's very sad. Mayeb i'm just thinking too much. M, if u read this(which i'm sure u will), Take care ya. I might have tried to let it all go but still you're there some how. It's unexplainable that sumthing from M could turn my life upside down and back again to the way it used to be. Listening to her voice could heal my pain, loneliness but when i think back, i feel like having tons of silver arrows being shot through my body and soul. The pain is unbearable. But i know it's the path i have choze to take. So i'll walk it till the other side.

That's all for now. Gonna rest my body liaw. Jaa..

Drawing with P-chan

2005-02-22T03:01:00.000+08:00

Above is wat i did just now....just nt long. Guess who drew who? Actually the story from the drawings above is like this. I was chatting with p-chan then we talked about hairstyle. So she used the "Doodle" environment from yahoo messenger to draw to tell me wat is fringe. After that i started drawing and she did too. I drew a fox head with a tail while p-chan drew a christmas tree. /swt. Dunno why she so into x'mas. Maybe she got a very nice x'mas pressie last x'mas? Anyway, i was suppose to print screen that image when i accidentally closed teh msg. Damn~. Luckily for me, p-chan is free to draw again. Since she couldn't think of wat to draw, so i suggest that i drew her face and she drew mine. It took p-chan about 30minutes to finish the drawing. But for me...it took me like 1 hr. (T-T). Using a mouse to draw is really hard. Seriously. Summore i kept erasing the things i drew. ^-^; Anyway...that's all for now. B4 i call it a day, wanna thank p-chan again for the drawing. I post it here liaw. Hope you like it~! :-D

I sang for V'day~

2005-02-15T01:59:00.000+08:00

Well...to my fellow housemates...if u hear me singing that lee hom's song with those off-tune voice of mine, u'll know that i'm singing for that sumone special. Unfortunately i'm not lucky enuf to celebrate this v'day with her. It's not because of my bloody TCP papper on that nite but of other factor like we're in a different world now. M, I nvr tot i would really be singing and recording this to you coz i know i dun have a nice voice. But there it was. There's the song for you. I dunno if u like it o not but i've tried my best in that shortest time. Happy v'day, M-chan~!

Happy V'day to you as well my dearest P-chan. May you find your other half soon.

And to Joan. Happy V'day + 2nd friendship anniversary. =-)

-Ic3

Last minute "pia chek" for Midterm

2005-02-14T01:52:00.000+08:00

CNY hols is over and it's time to study...darn~!

2nd day of CNY

2005-02-10T14:38:00.000+08:00

Here i am at my old house multi-tasking. Right hand typing the keyboard, left carrying the plate of "kolo mee", and me ears listening to the yelping of the puppies. Guess the mom's here. Going to unlock the cages and let the pups free till i finish this blog. then it'll be puppy-sitting for me. ^-^" Boy, it's such a day. So what have i done recently? Well..erm i did one friendster reply to agneslina. Wonder when am i gonna reply the real msg? Too busy lately. When to lowyat forum, Erm...study abit and went to visit a few of my relatives. Along the visiting, i ogt the chance to see a car in flame at sumwhere at 17th mile there there. Also, sumone smsed me. 0168052943 <--this should be the no. if not mistaken. I ended up being disturbed by him/her. wth? Isn't that wan lu? But how come the person keep asking me to speak malay? Sigh..oh well, if i see her online i'll ask her.

So today i'm suppose to do sum visiting. Or better yet, study. But I would rather choose option A eventhough my papers are after this week(stated in previous post). Hmm...nothing else to say except later at 6pm gonna have a smal reunion dnnner at Richmond's Place. Where else after that? Not sure.

Stopping it all for now. Though my mind has lots of things to pop up. Majorities are personel matters. So i'll just stick it in mind for the time being and then let it out on the other side of this world. Amen.

HAPPY Chinese New Year~!!

2005-02-08T23:18:00.000+08:00

"Xin Nian Lai Le...." Well.. CNY is bak here again. Alas i've not much time to describe musch about it yet. Since my day back to kuching, God had bear 8 cute puppies consisting of 2 females and 6 males into my family. All with it's very own unique characteristics. Among them, one is a "whinner" named D.D., a sleepy head, an active and very curious pup, a fatso, and many more.

Next is an update on my current life. Let's see...I re injured my knee AGAIN during a recent bball match. So i guess this time i really have to start going to gym to traing my knee. Dunno what's gonna happen if i dun strengthen my knee. T-T

Hm...wat else... oh ya, for ROSE, finally i got a chance to play in union war. Though i died like 10 times, i manage to kill 1. Well, better than nothing rite? Furthermore the enemies there were like lvl70-90. And i'm only 57. Sigh. When i gonna be like sonoko who's now almost lvl 70? Have to train harder n die lesser.

Tomolo's CNY but not even a single visiting plan is set up yet. Maybe i'll go check in yahoo groups later on to plan. :) Check M-chan's blog today. And her latest post was about twins. hmmm.........interesting topic ei? Wonder where is my twin? If i see him, I sure gonna duel him in bball first~! Then later talk. Hehe.

Guess that's all for now. With CNY getting nearer, my inbox is full with smses. Wonder when i'm gonna get the chance to upgrade my sim card? Currently i can store only like 10 sms at most. Sigh. Hope i can buy a new hp by then. :-D

Tat's all for now. jaa mata.

2.55am--Time CRISIS

2005-02-06T02:51:00.000+08:00

okay...gotta make this fast. Since i nid a good sleep and erm...wake up at 8:30am and meet my cuz at 9:30am at petronas there. i still got lots of things to do. eating raisins rite now coz they aren't any other snack i can eat. Summore i lazy to cook. Anyway, pack all my stuffs dy, Got my new year clothes, pants; and burnt the cds, prepared the cash for the journey. Planning to bring my dad's camera back but in the end i think i'll just skip it. Dun want to bring too much for this one week in kuching. And i dun think dad will nid the camera that soon also.

So what else have i not done? Hm...reply alicia's friendster msg which i've postponed for more than 3 days. ^^;. paiseh ar alica. Guess that's all for now. Tomolo have to remind myself to check n close all the windows, lock the doors...erm...take off the gas tube...wat else...hmmm........i'll think about it later. Anyway, that's all for now. I'll write more once i'm back kuching. hoopefully i have time then. Coz i have to study during thsi one week coz after this break, it's the mid-term exam. =-=|| damn....
oh well..signing off~!

jaamata ~!

26, January 2005 Wednesday 7.55am

2005-01-26T07:54:00.000+08:00

Track currently playing: 你爱我还是他-陶喆

Current problems: low in cash ^^;

Later on will be my quiz for TRM2191 and i just woke up not long. gonna study after i finish this blog and get my bath, brush my teeth and get myself a breakfast.

So what have been happening lately? Well, actually quite a few. Just that i dunno where to start. So i guess i'll just type out what i can remember for now and forget the rest.; whether it's a happy thing o not.

First of all, i wonder why m-chan stopped writing her blog? Been quite a while adi since she last wrote sumthing concerning insomnia. Hmm.....maybe this can help my buddy out. He's been having sumthing like insomnia lately. should send this link to him. *nods head*.

Second, would like to thank p-chan who would most of the time be there when i need her. And thanx for ur phrase that reminds me of sumting sweet, "Anyone knows why is there a gap between our fingers? If know msg me ^^".

Reminds me of that time back in Tun Jugah. Reminds me a lot of sweet memories. ^^. Well, the souvenir from that memory is still with me here. And i'm keeping it very well.

3rd, thank my brethens in UA 3-09(forgot ur apartment address. But u know who u guys are lah hor?), Mr. Hak n Mr. Hamster(stupid hamster-muahahahaha) for yesterday's pleasent dinner. Thanx for the company.

4th, would like to thank my housemate, Alien(Allen Ang) for following me to bball court to watch the girl's training. Paiseh ar...i kena tipu by my friend liaw....grrrr ~! Ah peh~!!! Mana ada ah moi cantik sana? All pok chop de~

5th, Sending gratitude to housemates again-> 小弟弟 win-san(vincent chai) for da games n lemon(Raymond Kuek) for tuition without tuition fees~!! ^^

6th, Erm............thank everybody lah....My family, my buddies, other friends, the mmu staffs, mmu workers, the facilities, the food....guess should be all.

Oh ya....THANK ME OSO. And achievement for this year so far would be killing a cockcroach on 24th January. i was just about to sleep when win-san came in and ask me to "show my skills?". Next thing i know was that there's a cockcroach in their room. Oh well... piece of cake. Anyone nid a roach-buster? I give fast and clean service. Reminder:: Make sure u have a good flusher. Else i bbq the roach like last time. ^^;

hmm......after reviewing what i typed, i once find out agian that i'm crapping again. Sigh.... Maybe next time i'll just draw and scan. Would be great ei? :D

Supposedly

2005-01-21T14:33:00.000+08:00

Planned to start study this afternoon but turn out that i didn't. Been doing other stuff mostly related with forums. Luckily i didn't touch rose. Else i would really be dead. Wat to do now? wat to do now? Head's dizzy maybe due to the hot weather. Then again it should be due to the reason that i haven't eaten any decent meal since this morning. Had about 5-6 slices of crackers and water and also 2 tablets of B-complex just now.

Woke up at 9am though. Wish i had a car rite now so i could go out and hunt for food. But that's unlikely possible coz i'm not stayin forever in mlk. Will be heading back homeland in sarawak once i graduated.

Wonder if i'm gonna study today? Well, let's see then. Hopefully i will.

Signing of now. Going to get a rest. Call it as hiubernate till dinner time.

ROSE~!! I'm addicted to you~!

2005-01-19T08:27:00.000+08:00

Currently listen to:: X-Japan=> Forever Love (Piano Version)

There's no denying now that i'm totally 100% addicted to ROSE. This is bad. Wonder when am i gonna get rid of addiction. Haven;t been sleeping well lately all coz of playing ROSE. My timezone is really messed up. Even I can feel my body not functioning to the fullest.

Midterm is next week and i've not even studied a single bit. This kind of situation reminds me of my beta third sem. Hope it's not really gonna happen to me again. Pray not~!

Just ended ROSE about minutes ago with my hawker reaching lvl 50. Boy was does it really take a long time for me to level. Spent about 10 hours playing it and i just lvled 5 lvl. So now i'm able to get a cart license so i can drive my car. But I dun have the zuly to get the parts..... oh dang... there goes me.

Next class starts in about 2 hours. So maybe i'll get a bit of rest till then. Just lay on the bed and close my eyes and yet be alert of my alarm coming from me nokia 3310 handphone. YEah...3310 is a very old phone. I do plan to get a new one but so far low in cash. Really dunno how i manage to spent that much on food. And yet i'm so skinny.

So how was my days recently? Well, it's great. Considering that i didn't have the sufficient sleep and yet i still manage to walk to class, walk back, and even play basketball. Thank lord my knee manage to withstand the tense as i run and turn rapidly. Maybe in a few more weeks i'll try if my knee can withstand my landing impact. Then i'll try jumping. And if both is okay, then i'll try to get back my lay-up skills back. Hopefully it wouldn't be a problem.

Anyway, here's a few shots of today's game.

I'm sitting and these little creeps(about 20+ of them) can't even pinch me .

R-O-S-E

2005-01-17T16:24:00.000+08:00

Since 4th of January 2005, i got myself addicted to a very unique online game called Rush On Seven Episode(ROSE in short). It's created by Gravity, creators of R.O. along with Triggersoft. Both companies i think are from Korea since RO was a korean game.To rate this game, i would give it a rating of 10/10 for graphics, 9/10 for gameplay, music of 6/10 and an overall rating of 8/10. ^0^

It's a nice game and to me, it's addictive. Been a long time since i got myself addicted to these sorts of games. Come to think of it, Ragnarok Online was my last game(played it during my last sem break back in november). And because of this game, sadly i have to say that I've not been having a decent sleep lately. Kept sleeping at 12noon for the past three days(eversince friday nite). I've also haven't been studying and my life is spent more on this. OMG~! Gotta get rid of this game ASAP~!!

Below are some pics of my characters in ROSE.:::

Me with an orc bow(2) Me with a hand rake

(From left to right:: my friend Wei Han, my muse character and another malaccan cybercafe boss.) ^-^ U can oso meet people in online games~! [PS: the monster behind is an easy KILL. For my hawker's lvl that is. ^0^]

Nekochan and Me (Found this elegant character lying in the field so i chatted a few with her.)

See how addictive it is? Even Chak plays this game. Lolz~!! (I tot it was him coz of that ID. Still not sure though. Should get Lawrence to ask him.)

So i guess this is all for now. Will update the others later. ciao~!

I'm Glad today.

2005-01-15T04:26:00.000+08:00

Ntg special happen but i'm just glad that i finally see a smile today.
Anyway, check out this flash here.

RESTLESS II

2005-01-12T06:47:00.000+08:00

6:49am Wednesday 12th January 2005

Currently listening to: RYAN CABRERA - TRUE

Check out the song above. It's cool. I didn't upload it for you guys/galz to listen here coz i'm LAZY~! Haha~! So if you ppl wanna listen to it, go find it.

Here i am again restless. Out of no reason. Been having slight problem lately. Mostly personal. Mostly about myself. And unless i'm able to solve it, unless i'm able to clear my mind, my doubts, I'll not be able to have a decent rest. And no decent rest will equals to no basketball game. So the programming code function will go sumthing like this(comment if i'm wrong. Been out of the programming thingy for a long time).

main()
{
int x, y;

x= not_enuf_sleep;
y= bball;
cout<<"Did you sleep well today?"/n; cout<<"yes=1 no=0"/n; cin>>x;
cout<<"Do you plan to play basketball today?"/n; cout<<"yes=1 no=0"/n/n; cin>>y;

cout<<"Calculating.....please wait"; system(pause); { if(not_enuf_sleep=1;bball=0) cout<<"Go for it~! Just Do It~!"; else if (not_enuf_sleep=1;bball=1 ) cout<<"What the hell? You wanna get yourself injured or sumthing?"; }}

So up there is my programming codes. I'm sure there's bugs to be fix over there. So any readers reading this, comment pls~!

7:04am

The sun just got up so i have two choice rite now. Stay awake untill all my class are over(ends at 5pm) or i could lie on the bed after this and hope i manage to get at least sum rest(though being able to sleep would be better) now and wake up at 11am, get myself ready and go for class. Option A would be the best choice so far. Let's see how it works out.

------------------------------------------------------------------> *new line

So what have i been doing recently? Well, nothing much except games! games! games! My current online game R[ush] O[n] S[even] E[pisode] had been a serious addiction. Damn. When i gonna get out of this gaming world. Cant seem to get enuf o get over it. Unless i got myself involved in basketball. But how am i gonna get myself involve in bball in this condition? ARGH~!!! Headache~! Headache~! Tolong~! S-O-S~!

Anyway, Sin Lin drew me Kakashi~! It's so cool~! Wish i have more meat. That way maybe i can cosplay become Kakashi. Haha~! Can hardly imagine how would i look like. Maybe i should try it one day?

M-chan just had her state exam yesterday and seems that she didn't do quite well. Dun be sad M-chan,. People makes mistakes. And certain deaths are caused by mistakes, though rare. But i'm sure if you don't give up, you'll one day succeed and be the best doctor there is around.

7:18am

time to hit the bed. So till now i guess. Jaa~!

-Ic3

Rewriting myself

2005-01-06T03:45:00.000+08:00

Eversince the new sem started, I've been an idle person. Maybe coz it's a new year and i've no new resolution yet. Life did say that people without an objective will walk a dark path. This seems to make more of a sense but just looking at me. So rite before i sleep, I'm gonna make resolutions for myself. It's time i rewrite myself. Forget about the past. there is nothing in the past for me to ponder and be glad of anymore. This is the 2005 and my resolutions are::

1- Get a better result from the previous semester. This includes upgrading my GCPA to 3.00 and above.

2- Stop my attitude of doing things last minute. Time to finish what i've started and time to get serious. 2005 is not 2004 and the year before it. If i dun change, I'll never be happy. If i don't be happy, I'll not be living my life at all.

3- Skipping class is bad for my studies. So from this day onwards. I shalt skip no more classes nor tutorials.

4- Take good care of my body. My soul may be strong. But a soul without a strong body is like a snail without a shell. The next time i collapse, I might never be able rise again. Then i may not be able to see HER anymore.

5- I've made a decision to get into this business. And the main reason is so i could fulfill my 3 years promise to Moscow. I'm gonna get enuf cash to go to Moscow, go to RSMU, and go to find HER. That is why i got into this thing in the first place. What happens next will be decided later.

6- Cherish everyone that is around me. I should start keeping in touch with my old mates. I know that lately i've been keeping myself from the outside world. It's time for this old fox saint to get out from his den. So this will be my ressurection. It's time i get to meet more people. Whether it is a guy o a gal.

7- Games! Games! Games! Should quit it all. But it would be boring if i just let it go. So imma shorten down my time on gaming. Like gaming an hour per day unless i'm superbly free.

SEVEN is her favourite number.

But SEVEN is connected with alot of things. It ressembles the lucky number(though my lucky number is 22). It also ressemble the DEADLY SINS::
GLUTTONY
GREED
PRIDE
SLOTH
LUST
ENVY
WRATH

But whatever 7 may represent, I do not care. It's time to care for what is most important. And my 7 resolutions are important.

Sumthing wrong with blogger? O is it my browser?

2005-01-04T05:43:00.000+08:00

5:44am January 04,2005 Tuesday

Man...what the heck? Sumthing wrong with blogger or isit stupid Streamyx? and LyriCool as well. Damn...Oh well...

I'm supposed to be in bed sleeping and waking up at 7am for my tutorial class. but here i am once again; restless. Then again, i just finish playing ROSE(Rush On Seven Episode) and couldn't get myself to sleep. Maybe it's M-chan's blog that makes me wanna blog again. :)

Just 24hrs ago, I finally met another friend of m-chan. Well, not really a real friend but she did talk to him over the phone. And that was like in 2001. Man, tell me how long is that? And i had this opportunity to find out. This is way kewl. Felt like being in smallville. Only thing that differs is that there's no SUPERMAN!! ^-^" So who is this guy i mention about? Well, it's none other than Allen Ang ........(never get to know his last name still ^.^" ); my housemate. Haha. I found out about it when i told him my past where i would visit M-chan at "southern bakery" everytime i had the chance. But alas....I didn't went there much. And i remembered that one of the time i went there, I took a bus(second o third time experience taking bus) there from the main post office to the bakery shop with a gift for her. She was surprise when i came into the bakery i guess. But i knew that i'm glad to have met her. So what happen next was i hand the gift over to her, chat with her a few then took bus back i think. Felt great that day. Too bad i didn't wrote it into my diary. I stopped writing my diary eversince form 5 ended i think.

I finally smile manage to smile when i look at M-chan's pic. Been a while since i felt that slight happiness inside me again. I was feeling restless the other nite dunno for what reason. But then later on, the feeling was gone. I think i should thank Mentos for chilling it away. Since i dun like smoking, so might as well use mentos as another option. Just hope i don't get addicted to mentos. Or i'll be having diabetes before i get old.

Chatted with p-chan for a while today. She just reached back from badminton and was telling me baout her hair cut. Too bad she re-cut her hair before i got the chance to see the china doll-like hair she had. But nvm. There's always another time. That i believe.

I guess that's all for now. Alister shares a song by 胡彦彬(Anson Hu Yan Bin) to me. Song title is 目不轉睛(Mu Bu Zhuan Jing). ENJOY~

lyrics::

我愛你好大的口氣自己都心虛
只會傻傻看你話講不完一句
緊湊微笑魔法和招呼手勢
一系列動作我都牢牢記心底
還有誰讓我目不轉睛除了你還是你
在這整個世界裡還有誰能挖掘我自信
連夢裡遇見你都會目不轉睛
我不明白到底什麼原因下一秒說愛你
原諒我的情不自禁

你好嗎委婉的語氣你的問候語
每次都會讓我再三回味不已
晴天陰天雨天和有風天氣
看著你空氣都有新鮮的氣息
還有誰讓我目不轉睛除了你還是你
在這整個世界裡還有誰能挖掘我自信
連夢裡遇見你都會目不轉睛

你就是讓我目不轉睛除了你還是你
在這整個世界裡還有誰能挖掘我自信
連夢裡遇見你都會目不轉睛
我不明白到底什麼原因下一秒擁抱你
原諒我的情不自禁這一句我愛你
說了千萬遍在心裡

Two songs to describe how i feel today.

2005-01-03T01:30:00.000+08:00

I don't feel like writing these few days. Dunno why. But after tonite's conversation with m-chan, I just wanna share this two songs to you readers. This is for M-chan.

Msg to M-chan:: I know u can't read this blog yet. But when u do, this both songs represent me to you. I do not know what the future holds. But i'm taking this chance, making this choice, just because i believe.

Amen.

Below are the two songs i mentioned from 王力宏 (Wang Lee Hom)::
This is his latest album

心中的日月

Forever Love

一首簡單的歌

PS: get the lyrics from here

Project X'mas

2004-12-23T03:08:00.000+08:00

In case some of you people are wondering what Project X'mas is......let's just say that it's nothing so special. Actually i'm just drawing some art for Christmas(like what i always do for certain occassions). Last time, i use to team up with a Minnesota girl by the name of Nicole Nusbaum making a webpage for Christmas. She did the scripts while i do the drawings. That was about 7 years ago. For this Christmas, I'm drawing Snoopy. The main reason would be that i have this snoopy doll near my monitor. Second supporting statement would be P-chan. She loves Snoopy. Third supporting statement is Snoopy is easy to draw. Okay...i lied on the part where snoopy is easy to draw. But i'm able to draw snoopy thanx to Corine Teh Yew Choo's support and for my determination of drawing a perfect Snoopy. Took me about a week to actually draw a nice snoopy.

So when did i started this project? Well, just yesterday afternoon at 2pm. I finished it at 3am but haven' really finalized it. Anyway, check it OUT. Hope you guys n gals like it.

Merry Christmas !!!

Test~!

2004-12-18T01:48:00.000+08:00

Your Dominant Intelligence is Spatial Intelligence

You've got a good sense of space and how the world around you looks.
You can close your eyes and "see" images. You have innate artistic talent.
An eye for color and shapes, you're also a natural designer.
Since you think in pictures, visual aids and demonstartions help you learn best.

You would make a good navigator, sculptor, visual artist, inventor, architect, interior designer, or engineer.

Nice site i got from raymond's blog. Well, the test is correct about me. You guys should try it as well. Just click here.

Waiting.....

2004-12-17T03:06:00.000+08:00

17th December 2004 3:12am

It's raining heavily now and M-chan just went offline. Or has she? I'm not sure but seems like i dun have the chance to chat with her much lately. Why is this so? I don't know. I really don't know. Anyway, still remember those times when we would talk on the phone for long hours? It was raining heavily as well....just like now. I could barely hear what you were talking then. Especially with your soft voice. It's as if our road had already been decided then. 14 more minutes to go before i turn off this computer and head for bed. What are you doing rite now M-chan? Anyway, i wanna dedicate this song to you. It's called "waiting for you". Yeah...i'm waiting for you to get online again and chat. Been a while since we really chat. I don't know how u've been lately as well. Kinda concern; eventhough i know i'm not suppose to, I cant control it. Oh well, life goes on. Hope u'll like this song. >>

胡彦斌 - Waiting For You

金色的舞鞋伴着音乐 BABY你的眼睛是一文深邃的湖水

而忽明忽灭掩藏不可思议的美让我晕眩在悬崖边谁知一睁眼就不见

Waiting For Yor I'm Waiting For You

Waiting For Yor Kiss Me At Tonight 为何你Cinderella

留给我一望无际的思念

Waiting For Yor I'm Waiting For You

Waiting For You Come Here To My Dream

牵着你不断旋转一直到黑发变成了银线 Waiting For You Waiting For You 只到永远

I've waited and it's 3:26. 4 minutes left. Rain's starting to stop. Will i be able to see and chat with you before i go off? My heart says no. But i'm still hanging on. Most probably i wouldn't have that chance. But it's okay. There's still another time. :-)

Theoretically i should be getting closer to my promise. But how come i feel as if i didn't move a pace at all?

2004-12-14T17:44:00.000+08:00

Was happy this monday afternoon when i checked my results for my gamma second same paper. I managed to pass all~! Thank GOD. Been two sems since i passed all my subjects. But my GPA is still so low.. It's 2.08. Damn. Nid to work harder if i'm to be any better.

Well...it was a relief that i've passed this semester. Which meant i kept one part of my promise with m-chan. Am i getting closer to my promise? Will i be able to achieve them all? Theoretically i should be getting closer to my promise. But how come i feel as if i didn't move a pace at all? Maybe i thought too much. But the nite before i checked my results, i dreamt of m-chan. Wonder how's she doing over there rite now? Hope she's doing well. From her last reply when i told her that i passed all my papers, it seemed that she may have been burning oil again for her weekly papers. Sigh. M-chan, kah yao~! U're not alone. You have people cheering up for you. :)

The basketball match is over. No more basketball match liaw. My knee is still a bit handicapped. Can't bent them all yet. Still got like......30 degrees more to go? ^^; Tomolo i might go check on the bone specialist. See if i can find out the true reason about my knee. Dun dare to jump eversince last monday's incident-5 minutes in first quarter i had to leave the court coz i injured my knee while landing. Sucks i'll say. But oh well....guess that's my fate.

oh ya...i uploaded a few pics on community webshot. the url is:: http://community.webshots.com/user/foxseija check it out if u guys want to. Just sharing with you guys. Since the business i'm doing also is a sharing business.

Should be all for now. Till then.......

-Ic3

Hurt~! Healed by the Orange Ball

2004-12-10T01:36:00.000+08:00

I'm kinda "hurt" today. Not only of all the things that had happen to me but also things that are currently going through my mind. Wish i could just express these feelings deep inside me out and then i'll be able to just forget about it. Unfortunately i'm HUMAN; unlike a robot in which u would be able to erase all its data, memories and errors that it had. I can choose not to think aboutit again but somehow it just pops up into my head after a long time.

Today was a fine day. A fine, lazy day. Didn't do much except for eat and watched slam dunk on pc. So in short, i kinda wasted the whole afternoon watching anime. Then evening came and i had to go for the basketball competition opening ceremony. I was reluctant to go but then i knew that is one of a duty as a coach. So i went, brought by my cousin.
At MBKS bball stadium, we waited for the first match to end before lining up to welcome the arrival of " YB. Lily Yong". I'm not sure who she is but i heard she's a national player for some sport. Wonder wat sport was it? The ceremony like most bball ceremony i attended was just like it had been-BORING. Worst comes worst i had to stand for about 30 minutes mostly on one feet while my still "bent" leg was just supporting another side of my body. Sucks~! But oh well.
So after the ceremony was the 2nd and after the 2nd, the 3rd bball match. The 2nd match was Sarberkas Tabuan Jaya kids against SUPP Batu Lintang (A) teens. I'm very impress in this match because the kids beat the teens. Well, the teens deserve to lose because they weren't playing well at all. The thing in that match that took my attention was the teamwork in STJ(Sarberkas Tabuna Jaya). They really play as if they were professionally trained. I'm very impress in their gameplay indeed. Although in the 1st and 2nd quarter they were losing by 10 points, at the 3rd quarter, number 7 managed to tie the score and at the 4th quarter with number 13's good rebound and 9's determination, they manage to change the flow and win the teens by 10 points. When the game ended, most of the spectators there gave a loud applause. 3rd match was 678 seafood against informatics. As expected, informatics lost. But i was able to see and analyze the players because they were our next challanger this coming Saturday. Man....how i wish i was able to play!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How i wish my knee was okay. How i really wish i didn't join the sun shining camp! Dang! Coz of that camp i spent RM25 for it and wat i got? A broken knee. I'm not sure if it will get well again but my friends say that it won't. How i wish that they were wrong. Well, wait until next tuesday and i'll know the result. May there be hope for me.

Basketball to certain people is just a game. To some parents is just a sport that prevent their kids from involving in other unhealthy activities. But to me, basketball is a part of my life. It is the fire within me. When i held the ball in my hand, i could feel what i'm capable of doing and the more i play, the more things i learn in basketball. In fact, i feel as if i can do almost anything in basketball. I feel as if i'm able to master all the skills in bball. I took up playing basketball when my parents rejected me playing soccer because to them, soccer is a rough game. At first, i sulk. But then i knew i had no choice. I'm only a kid that time. What power do i have? My interest in bball started at the end of my primary school days when i followed my dad to watch his basketball team play. I was really amazed at how the game was played. Really amazed. All the lightning speed movements, the jump for rebound which looks like as if the player is reaching for the skies, and also the accurate shootings and the sound of the ball going through the basket net. And not to forgotten also the applause and cheering from the spectators and supporters. I still remember when i watched my father's team play, I could sense the tense of the basketball team. I could feel the worry of losing, then when just even the slightest faith was about to vanish, a glimpse hope emerge somewhere by luck and the situation change from a lost to a victory. Eversince then, i've decided to get myself famous in basketball.

During my first week in secondary school, I was one of the first to bring a basketball to school after noticing my seniors playing basketball everyday after their morning session class finish. Our form one was an afternoon session class. So basically during our recess, we would run down from our hill to the basketball court and join our seniors. At first, the seniors would ignore us, and monopolize the gameplay. But among the seniors, there is always one with a samaritan heart. So he let us played. Although at the begining we got bullied and they took advantage of our newbie playing, we manage to learn fast through their teachings as well as mockings. ^^; In form two, my chance came to play for the school when my seniors told me about the basketball team selection held on saturday. I was 170cm at that time. Quite tall for a form 1 student. So i went for the training, ran 10 laps around the basketball court, did stretchings, warm-ups and then after that basic trainings like lay-ups, shootings, defense and passings. It wasn't easy as i have to cope up with my seniors who are in their form 4 form 5. Our coach that time was Mr. Lim Ren En. He was a plump guy(similiar to Anzai sensei in slam dunk) and had just finish his form 6 in my school. In fact, he was also in charge of the afternoon session prefect. I learnt quite a few from him as well see a few stunts from my seniors. Unfortunately that year, i was filter out from the team. I was a bit sad. But i know that I'm not well up to them yet. During form 3, i missed the basketball selection team. But one of my friend whom i always defeated him 1 on 1 managed to get in the team. His name was freddie voon. Wonder where is this guy rite now? Really wanna settle this debt with him. Coz our last one on one match, I lost to him. My chance of representing the school came when i was in form 4 and form 5. My first match was against chung hua no. 1. And boy were they strong. Somemore we were playing against them at their basketball court. Sigh...Tough luck. In form 5, me along with a few friends; sing hui, kay hong, chee wei(my junior by one year who is now a state representative), ek zing and my lower six friends who came from kuching high represent st thomas to play once more. This time i was more experience but still low in confidence. But with kay hong and sing hui as well as lai supporting me, we manage to get into the quarter finals. So which school did we manage to beat? Well, it was smk lumba kuda and St. joseph(muahahaha...rival school defeated). Unfortunately we lost to kuching town and chung hua no. 3. Our last match was against smk pending. But that last match was more like a skill competition. U can see all types of lay ups. All the "bunga". Basketball life in high school was fun and memorable. The only thing that i really tought a lot was- why the heck i got chosen to play the center position? Anyway, bygones are bygones. Don mind.
Before entering MMU, I was suppose to play against a friend whom i met at Utopia prom nite. Unfortunately mishap fell upon him. I'm very sad of his departure and was shock when i heard the news. Mr. Ryan, rest in peace my friend. Hope that we'll get to play with each other when i get to heaven.

In mmu, during alpha year, i met kah mun, sim, kelvin, siang foong, yang zong, ronan, the sepang gang, triple s and many more whom became my friends and companions in basketball. It is from them i learn friendship. And from them, I met my second gf. During my beta year, my time spent on basketball decrease. Most of my friend that played basketball were in cyber already. Most of my times was spent with her. Unfortunately me n her didn't get along well. And in late beta, i re-enter the basketball court and there i met new friends. I met, kim hian(ultraman), keong yee(K.Y.), ah ping(chang swee phing), fei(fat) ping(also known as egg ultraman), satay, zhao, guo lin, ah peh and many more. All those people whom i keep seeing in my classes in beta but i didn't dare to go befriend with were now my friends. Cool ei? Life was very good when my gamma year starts. It feels more like a new begining and my life seems to have brighten with new friends. I do still keep in conctact with my old pals as i would go down at the first weekend of the semester just to gather with them. They're my "brothers" after all. And i will not forsake them. ^^

2:03am <-that's wat the clock at my monitor display.

Before i end this blog. I'd just like to leave a msg to M-chan.

"When all seems lost, when light of faith seems to dim out, there'll be hope. For I shall be your hope."
M---, if u can read this, I wanna say that i'm really happy and glad that u like it. The moment my bro told me he recieved a weird sms saying about cd, the first thing that went through my mind was you. I was right after all. I know that there's no chance. But i still lift my hope and faith up. Though not as high as before. When u are able to fly, that is when i shall let go and return to my true world. 1-4-3.

AMEN.

-Ic3

Updating myself

2004-12-07T23:53:00.000+08:00

So peeps....sorry i've been out of contact for quite sum time. Sumthing just came up. So wat i'm gonna type in here are sum of those stuff that i've done in brief. So check it out::

29th Nov
Afternoon::
My "brother" n his wife sent me to kl sentral and we manage to have lunch together at kfc b4 i catch my train to klia. The flight boarding time was 2:15 and when i got on the train, it was 1:35. I was kinda nervous at that moment coz i tot i would missed my flight again. Why again? Well, i missed my flight two years back during chinese new year eve due to my late check-in. Suppose to check-in an hour before boarding time but i didn't know that. In the end, me and kim hang had to pay extra RM50 and wait for extra seats. Luckily the past didn't repeat itself. Praise the LORD for that. I really ran from the custom check to the boarding room. Fortunately the plane wasn't ready for flight until 3pm. Again, i thank the LORD.

So when i was on the plane, i exchanged my seat to this adorable little girl who wants the seat near the window(K) which happens to be mine. So being a good samaritan, I talked to the mother of the child and gave her my seat tickets. My seat was then changed twice; from (F) to (B) coz the whole family wanted so sit together. Wat else i did on the plane was helping a little boy open the toilet door. Knewing the toilet was unused, i wanted to get up of my seat and help that kid. But sumthing was dragging me back. Could be my pride. But in the end, i let go off my hessitation and helped the kid. Really felt good after that. As if a sin has been cleanse. And guess wat after that? The guy who was sitting beside me started talking to me. We exchanged business cards and chatted a few. It was a nice day that day.

Evening::
That evening as soon as i reached home, i got ready and brought my bro, JBK to batu kawa town bball court. It was there only i found out that they are having a bball match net week. Sum milo competition. So training starts tomolo and i'm the coach.

30th Nov
I woke up early this morning and prepared Nutrilite breakfast for my family. My dad, being a cautios person at first rejected the drinks saying that there are side-effects from it and remind me of uncle jack(dunno who is he) who is said to have died of consuming overdosage of nutrilite. But i doubt it. It just doesn't make sense. If such thing were to happen, then nutrilite would've been banned already in the US. I mean someone else in the US would've also gone through this situation as well. No matter what, I've placed myself into this business and i will put my faith into this business. "If you dun believe, u'll never achieve". That is a saying from my uplines which sounded very true. This business which i'm working "with(not "under" coz if it was under, u will be yelled and sacked)" isn't an illegal company, is good and trustworthy. Else i will never join this company in the very first place. Summore this company provides 100% money back guarantee for most of it's product. This means it protects it's partners as well. Now where can u get that?

Actually i want one thing from this company. My dream is actually to go RSMU and find M-chan(a promise of 3 years), visit her and if she's not doing well there, I'll pay for the compensation and bring her back here. It's crazy but i've decided. It's my dream. I know it sounds stupid but hey; i'm not the only one insane in this world. Take a look around and you'll see that i'm still sane. And i know that through this company, as long as i work a bit harder, I'll achieve it. Along the days in this company, i noticed a sudden change in me. I may not have gotten closer to my dreams yet but alongthe way, i learnt principles in life, i learnt to be able to talk more, the courage to meet up with new ppl and introduce the business i'm doing. Maybe this is why my uplines call this business as a "sharing" business. You share experiences, advices and never ever criticize the mistakes of others; instead u correct them by showing their mistakes. The humor i found in this business is that my business partners all seemed to like "bird-talk". It's sumthing like making fun of each of us but just to entertain. Maybe this is also one of the skills.

Anyway, that evening, that was our very first training. I wouldn't say that the training was sucessful but compare to the days after that, today's training is so far the best. And that nite, i happen to have hurt my knee a bit when guarding my bro. Damn..when will it heal? Been months adi. Almost 2 months since i rested and 4 months since the incident. I had to gave up on my University's 5 on 5 competition because of it. Don't want to drag my team to hell.

PS: scratched my wira car at victor's gate that afternoon while parking into his house. Was damn pissed off of myself that that very nite i couldn't drive well.

1st Dec
Tonite was my very first 5 on 5 friendly match after months of rest. Luckily my knee was still in good condition. Also, the gameplay was nice. Only that we lost.

2nd Dec (Evening)
It was suppose to be our official training but only 5 showed up. Sigh. Didn't do much except for sea-side run(suicide), rebound-shoot, 3-point training and formation. After that was a short game of 3 on 3.

3rd Dec
No training that nite and i went out to meet up with alvin and robin at PC fair which was held at "taman kereta". We met many of our friends there by luck and i oso manage to spot my cyber sis and his hubby. I mced my sis bt seems like no response. So i tot i saw wrongly. Minutes later, she smesd me and told me she tot she saw me at the pc fair. So that means i was right after all. After that i went to find alex and then head for Mermaid. The place is small and it's not really hot there. The songs played were ah beng songs. No offence but that's wat i felt. So wat me, robin, alvin and daniel did there was watched "double vision" on the tv there. After that we went to mike's house and at 1pm sumthing, we head back. Comment on myself:: I drove badly today. Nearly rammed into a lorry. Could it be the beer that i drank? Nah~!

4th Dec
Stayed at home the whole day. No training because edmund went sibu, jason and my cousin went santubong, dunno where is wei loon, and i didn't contact the sejijak ppl. Alex invite me out. I know that tonite would be hot at the pub but sumhow i rejected him. Maybe coz the computer was back. I kinda nearly spoiled the computer on the second day i got back. I was cleaning the computer, disassembling it and then reassembling it back. When i open the computer, it seems that sumthing went wrong. Only todaywhen brother Kelvin explained it to me then i realized that i nearly burn the AMD athlon 2500+. Phew~!

5th Dec.
Went out to find jerry and lend him the RM100 he nid. He said he'll pay back on 26th Dec. Hope he keeps his words. I dun usually lend money to peeps unless they have a good relation with me.

6th Dec
Our first official matched. I got very worried today coz i kept wondering if our team will be rejected. We haven't filled in the form, it was 5:30pm and we're stucked in a traffic jam and it was raining(which means the jam gonna get worse). Fortunately things went well. We got there with enuf time, i get to meet the auntie that was selling snakcs and drinks there, get to chat with her and bought an adidas reject basketball uniform set for RM25. The material of the shirt is nice. The only thing bad about it was the sewing. Only a bit handicapped here and there. But for RM25, It really worth it.

That was the good news, now comes the SUCKY one. 5 minutes first quarter of the match, i injured my knee again. And boy was it really serious. My knee swell badly, I could barely walk and had to get my bro to support me back to the bench. My cousin subsitute me after that. Our oppenent that day wasn't strong at all. Their only advantage were that they had a bit of team-work. I got a bit pissed of my knee that nite. But I knew i had to be optimistic. Things happens for a reason. And that nite we lose 37 to 60.

7th Dec
Went to see the specialist at timberland this morning. Rested and then got myself to the second match. With a still swelling knee, i manage to get myself walking, endure those tiny sharp pain cause by the swelling cells and bones which squish my nerve as i move my leg. Today's opponent was said to be the previous champion. And that nite we lost even though our rival weren't playing 100%. Sigh......

I'm thinking of retiring from bball for a year or two. Until i am sure that my knee will be okay. According to the doctor that i wnt to see this morning, there's a possiblity that my nerve inside my knee(between the knee-cap and the joints) is injured. He said that it's one of the main cause for me being unable to control my left leg. And that explains why i injured myself after just doing a turnaround then and fade-away shot. It'll be a bad news if it's true. But he did say that my legs are strong. ^^.

Our next match will be this saturday. I know i cant play yet. And mostly i wouldn't play. But depends on my leg. If i think my leg can handle it, then i'll play. Bball is important to me. Because if it weren't for bball, I would've never existed in the very first place. I would be nothing but a speckle of dust..

8th Dec..
Maybe will get edmund and train his footsteps this afternoon. He committed "travelling" during yesterday's match. And tonite maybe they'll be a training to get ready for the match against our next rival.

I'll end it here now. AMEN.

To Be Continued..........

7 more hours before i leave for Kuching

2004-11-29T09:57:00.000+08:00

Title says it all. I'm flying back. All my bags are pack, i'm ready to go. Just nid to wait for the time to fly.

Rite now i'm still at my friend's place. It's sumwhere near the intan college building. Out of the window is the front of intan college. Hmmm..... I tot i would have problems staying over here at first but seems like my worries are over. Kinda lucky to manage to sneak into this place. But that's not the climax. Climax is i manage to watch my friend's block mates breaking bottle glasses in the middle of the nite. Imagine them breaking glasses since 12 am till 3 am. I was too sleepy so i missed the first few hours of the show. ^^ But then i manage to see one of the bottle being break. I tried it myself but seems that i failed. The most i did was i made a cracking sound on the bottle. But it didn't crack at all...Damn... Anyway, if u wanna know how the bottle was broken, well, it's more like breaking the bottom part(base) of the glass bottle by implying acertain amount of force onto the lid(the mouth) of the bottle. Sounds odd but it works. But in order for it to work, the bottle have to be filled with liquid. Any should do. Just fill the bottle half full, take a good grip on the upper body of the bottle(to preventfrom slipping) and then with a full strike, hit with ur palm onto the cap of the bottle lid.

5/6 bottles were broken that night. I dunno what happen to the last one coz teh b'day boy took it back. Mayeb he really was trying to break it still. ^^;

So wat else i did here? Well, i join's kay hong(my friend which i'm staying over his place)'s friend from kluang(ah fahm) and a few more of the gangs celebrating the birthday boy(siew long)'s birthday eating durian. We were squatting just outside of SL's room eating durian. Imagine a room filled with the smell of durian. ^^

10:30am now and still got 6:30hrs b4 my flight. And also, i'm planning to end this early. Having backaches adi. Old man loh. Really had a nice day here. Have to thank GOD for these wonderful things. I feel blessed~!

AMEN~!

-Ic3

TWO down ONE more to go

2004-11-25T08:30:00.000+08:00

8:40am and thie time is ticking. ....Duh

Anyway, Rite now i'm kinda preparing for my breakfast. Hot milo + crackers. Not a very nice breakfast rite? Apa boleh buat? The nearest eating place is like RSU there and the food there oso might not taste nice. So wat the heck? Besides breakfast, i just started studying for my last paper while chatting with my cyber-sis(but she seemed very busy. Aih....working ppl sure very kolian. I hope i dun end up the same road as them. ^^) .

Yesterday's paper was kinda hard coz i didn't manage to score. Should have studied rite after my first exam. Hope i'll pass this one. Else die lah. My carry marks is 31.6/50. So this means i'll need 18.4 more to pass. But when i recount my marks oso didn't reach 16. OMG~!!! Dang....forget about this paper. I'm focusing on the last one. ^^

8:59am and i've finished my breakfast. Still hungry though. Wonder if Mr. Jerry is awake? Wanted to call him out for breakfast but then again he might be busy and sleeping. He always have his activities. Boy do i envy ppl with transportations(motors, cars and even bikes~!). Then the sms report that i sent to Joan just beeped. Guess Joan wakes up quite early oso. So now will be waiting for her reply.
Woah~! just found out CT got a new bf adi....GENG~! Then again; it's been like almost half a year since i last contacted with them. Haha. Wonder how they look like now?

Had a wonderful chat with Amanda last nite. We talk from present to past, from public to secret and oso about fox~!!! We also share about our dreams, and many more lah. I even try to korek some secret from her. Or was i? Reminisence. I still remember when i was 'fox'. Those happy days....and oso those sad days.... aih..... It's all a past now. Why i change in the first place? Maybe that's the way of LIFE? Maybe i should take a step forward into achieving my dreams? Bored and out of ideas now...

So before i end this blog. First of all i'd like to thank P-chan for cheering for me for this tdm. [ResP3ct!]

EnD-->

-Ic3

This song is called "La Salle De Bain" [ENj0y]

The BODY is tired but MIND is still active

2004-11-24T08:09:00.000+08:00

8:11am in the morning and guess why i'm still awake? Yep~! it's the finalS~! And m second paper is at 2:30pm at CITS lab 3. So i kinda burn oil for the past 24hrs. Rite this very moment i can tell u that while typing, my body is really shaking; and so are my hands. Man i feel like i just got off from drugs. Then again i did take caffeine like 4-5 hours ago. Lolz. I dun really like taking coffee frankly spekaing. Nor do i like instant food. But at times like this, sacrifice have to be met to achieve something. -> People cannot GAIN anything without SACRIFICING something. You must present something of EQUAL VALUE to gain something. Now doesn't that sounds familiar? Yep~! It's the principles in Equivalent Trade from FMA. It's a very nice anime series. It's cool~!

Dang...8:32am now. Gtg get sum rest and wake up at 11am. Ciao~!

Oh ya......I'm missing her again. Been weeks since i last chat with her. I hope she's doing well over there. Sigh. I guess a curse is a curse afterall. No one else can ever dispell it unless it's thyself. M-chan...have u ever.....?

Lastly, I wish all the best and good luck to those having their finals. I know it's kinda late but i did pray for you guys n gals on monday while sitting for my computer security.

Anywya, ciao~! 8:36am

8:55am.....damn..i can't sleep without finish blogging wat happen for the past 24 hrs. First, i went campus and found out that u can't transfer cash from one account to another... Second, i lost to Mr. Lawrence on a bet on "who reach the burger stall first gets a free black pepper chicken." Well.. i wasn't running until i saw chak heading the burger stall alone but i'll admit i lost. :) And third, i just found out that this amanda(Kitsune-sama) was actually sitting the same table with me during 2002/2003 IT fair appreciation dinner. No wonder she was surprise when i wasn't surprise of her change; I couldn't even remember her!! Lolz~! Sorry girl...I have bad memories. Only could remember my pal, shawn kissing his gal in public that nite after appreciation nite ended.

9:01am...Finally.....Now i can hit the sack.

-Ic3

My Devotion

2004-11-22T11:47:00.000+08:00

*I got this from M-chan in friendster. So far i couldn't find the origin of the song. No idea of who's the singer, how the song is like and wat language is it actually. Maybe she wrote it herself; since she's a bit of a singer herself as well. Can anyone help me out? Here's how the song, "My Devotion", goes...."

In a dream i hold u close,
embracing u with my hands,
in a gaze that meet,
with eyes full of love,
it made me understand,
that i was meant,
to share it with u,
my heart,my mind,my soul,
then i open my eyes,
and all i see,
reality shows i'm alone,
but i know someday that
u'll be by my side,
cos i know God is just waiting
til the time is right....

God will u keep him safe
from the thunder storm,
when the day is cold,
will U keep him warm,
when darkness falls
will u please shine him the way,
God will u let him know
that i love him so,
when there's no one there,
that he's not alone,
just close his eyes n
let him know my heart is
beating with his....

Sumthing nice...the song's at the side bar

2004-11-03T18:43:00.000+08:00

A song i got from a link sent by ma fren, ah wang.com - cheers dude~!

Song title::穝糤呼1

Lyrics::

這條歌做給認為自己衰的人
你們認為自己狠衰但是
你們甘有比我還要衰?
聽看麥...yeah...

為什麼我會烙賽?
今天的舞廳放westside
感覺真正不錯 feel all right
但是還是沒人能夠了解
為什麼烙賽就烙賽還從褲管流出來
流出來想說暗暗沒人知
結果害旁邊的人滑倒
外國人看到說"damn! muthafucka!!"
遇到這種情形真正是丟臉死
註死剛好今晚是lady free
舞池的人大部分是辣手
全部都在討論"hey~do you see that?"
正港有在衰種瓠仔生蔡瓜
沒吃什麼東西卻種芋頭在褲底
安怎解釋像我安捏
裡面穿四角褲卻忘記包尿布

<副歌>(chorus)
This is not my day
我怎麼架尼衰
烙賽在褲底還被人發現
唉嚘氣死嗚~~~
This is not my day
我怎麼架尼衰
烙賽在褲底還被人發現
唉嚘倒退嚕~~~

自小漢媽媽就說肚子痛就不能拖
但是我好幾次都來不及拉在地上
現在已經大漢沒那個習慣
忍屎NO.1 I say...
今天是抽到命運還是機會
走路還"拖泥帶水"
都是因為人太擠大家相擠
害我走不過還一直跟人會失禮
"哩洗勒擠三小?" 我被人這樣醮
屁股快凍未條沒人要理我
現在拉出來你們才嫌臭
脫掉~脫掉~讓你們聞個夠
順便轉一下風車弄髒你們的地板
爽啦第一次連圍事都怕我
我已經崩潰了啦哈哈~~~

<副歌>(chorus)
This is not my day
我怎麼架尼衰
烙賽在褲底還被人發現
唉嚘氣死嗚~~~
This is not my day
我怎麼架尼衰
烙賽在褲底還被人發現
唉嚘倒退嚕~~~

Somebody tell me why~~~

Every morning
我都跑廁所
痾~~~便便
最怕烙賽~~~

This is not my day
我怎麼架尼衰
烙賽在褲底
還被人發現......
(架夭壽~架夭壽~架夭壽.....to the end)

yeah...代誌發生的時候
大家都圍在旁邊看
不輸有人再尬舞
有一個圍事
他走過來跟我說
"這什麼?"
"痾...應該是米田共...但是誰的我就不知道了..."
"哼!!臭小子!!你居然敢耍我...呀!!!"
"救命阿~~~"

<副歌> (chorus) to the end.....

"烙賽在褲底" made by KuSouL

PS: Got this song from a site:: Hope he dun sue me~! Lolz

All about life

2004-10-27T05:09:00.000+08:00

Here's a story in which I would like to share out. It's told by my upline DD(also counting month Diamond, Brother Wee)::

One day in a forest, A hunter and his hound was hunting in a jungle and spotted a baby hare under a tree. With great concentration, the hunter aim and bang! He got the hare on one of its leg. The hunter then ordered his hound to go after the escaping rabbit.

Moments later, the hound came back with nothing in his mouth. With great curiousity, the hunter asked, "How could you let that hare get away? The f***ing hare was badly injured and you still couldn't catch it?! What f***ing dog are you?". The hound replied his master, "The hare's too fast *gasp* I tried my best! *Gasp* It's f***ing fast dude~!! How u expect me to f***ing catch it? *Gasp* F*** You!!"

Back at the hare's lair, the hare's mother saw the hare running into the lair with its leg injured and asked what happen. After listening to the story, she said to the hare, "You are one H*** of a lucky hare. Thank God for that." "No, mama. I'm not lucky. I ran for my F***ing life~! You know how hard is it to run all my way back here with an injured leg? Dang I need to get my leg healed."

Basically the moral of this story is that if you want success in a short time, you'll have to put your life into it. Just putting your effort will not make much difference. Let me differenciate between putting your LIFE and putting your EFFORT. When you put ONLY your EFFORT in doing a certain task, you are like the hound. But if you put your LIFE into doing something, like for instance in creating a brighter future; u are like the hare; u escaped from the hound(clutches of problems).

So I guess this is what I wanna share to you peeps about life. So after you guys finish reading thru this. I want you guys to asked yourself; "HAVE U TRIED PUTTING YOUR F***ING LIFE INTO DOING SUMTHING?" Coz if you haven't, you should do it from now onwards. You'll see what I mean.

In life, people do not go faster than you coz they are capable of it. Well, actually about 5% of the people will be more capable than you. You're slower than others coz you "stopped walking the steps". Growing up is about walking the steps of life. If you stop walking, you'll be seeing others walking pass by you. Therefore, my support to you peeps that are idling(I'm sure you know that you're idling rite this very moment), on your mark, get set, WALK~! ^^

She makes me smile....but it hurts me when i'm near her

2004-10-27T04:27:00.000+08:00

I just finish friendstering and as usual, i went into her page and look at her pics. I do this almost everyday. And when i'm moody, i'll look thru her pics about 1-3 times a day. Maybe this is a bad thing to do. But each time i see her face, miraculously i'll smile. There's a contentment seeing her smile. It's like being near her. Though the fact is that we're really far apart; in two different world as well. She's in the world of prince and princess while i'm in the world of hades. I guess that's how Quasimodos's life was when he got kept inside the catheral of notre dame. And his life was blue until he met the gypsy girl. I wonder how did it end? I've seen books and movies about this story but i never actually read nor watch them. I wonder how it actually ended?

M-chan......she's cute, she's fair, she has almost everything describing an angel but deep down inside i know that she's struggling for sumthing. I have spent my times with her during those first few months together as friends and bgr and then back to friends again. That's how i know. But there's actually more to understand about her. Knowing her had indeed been a blessing. But it also has been a curse. Our days spent together was fun, sweet though at times there seems to be conflicts due to insatisfication. Maybe i didn't put in much effort and im not smart. Maybe she's demanding and comparitive. Maybe we're just not suitable. In the end our paths diverge into two paths. She head for the path to Camelot while my feet led me to the Dark Woods. I never know how her life was there as far as i would really want to find out. But i know that what ever happens, she is sure to avoid me. Who would want to be with a Quasimodo? What's so bad about Quasimodo anyway? He's caring, he's loving, he's lazy but for Esmeralda he would do anything-even if it means to kill himself. But alas....Quasimodo has fallen. As he entered the Dark woods, souls of the dead, also known as Hollow captured n consumed his soul.

And this is where u get a fallen hunchback. Imagine having a body but no soul. Ain't that sucks? Well, as far as i'm concern now, I'm forgiving the past. The past is just a story which i would like to share. Any influence from this past will be cut off permanently. For the sake of my future; for HER sake.

Me n M-chan are now still friends. Not really close friends but at least i didn't cut my connection with her. It's not that I do not want to cut it; It's just....I can't cut it. She's too important to me. Cutting my bond with her would means splitting myself into two. She might not know this but she's actually a part of me. Her smiles is equalivent to the antidotes for my problems in life. But yet being near her or chatting with her hurts me- just like taking an injection into your heart. Alas....this is where i shall i end.

Girl of my dreams

2004-09-16T03:34:00.001+08:00

There's this girl whom i met back in August 2000 at a library. First time meeting her was like just general friends. My first impression on her....well, actually i didn't have a good impression of her i think. To me, she's just an ordinary girl. Just a friend. She would help me out with my maths when she was at the library. Then she showed interest in the language i was interested in as well: nihon-go(japanese language). I remember the days when she would spent her studying time to get me to teach her japanese. She wasn't a fast learner. So i printed out a paper with all the hiragana characters as well as the phonetics for her to refer to. Days later she wrote out the hiraganas with the phonetics in a fullscape paper and pass it to me. On the paper as well was her name in hiragana; "mi-n-n". I didn't realise how minn would have changed my life. At first, i thought she was just some ordinary teenage girl that i would meet and end up at most as friends. But there was more from her. As soon as she got my house number, she would call me at times telling me about our tuition events. Months past and one night while at a tuition centre, i suddenly go jealous of her talking to a bunch of guys who was from her brother school. Actaully i wouldn't have gotten jealous...i think..if my classmates weren't disturbing me n her. Somehow it just seems that God was trying to match us up. Coz that nite after i got back home, i tried calming myself but failed. In the end, I made a call and said "aishiteru" to her. Took me lots of courage to do that. Really alot. After saying that, i bid her goodnite and tried to catch sum sleep. Didn't really got enuf sleep that nite if i could recall correctly. Coz i think i was "fishing" in class the next day.

During my days with Minn, when i didn't bother to care for her, she would just be there, sitting beside me n smiling at me. Her smile bring me warmth. And sumhow her smile brings me a sense of freshness. Being with her made me felt happy. Also, she was a "turn on" for me. But i didn't ake her as anything despicable. Our friendship stage didn't last long. That nite after failing to visit our tutor's house coz he wasn't at home, we walked on the overhead bridge to reach the other side of the road where we would wait there for our parents to bring us back. Rite the on top of the bridge, she held my hand. I was shocked at first but then i realise that she may have like me. Minn's hand was small n soft as silk. Since then, i didn't let go off her hands not until we reach the other end of the bridge. And it was that nite that we officially became boyfriends n girlfriends. But everthing seems too fast.

First 2 months was going well. We chatted mostly on the phone coz i wasn't good in this kind of stuff yet. Minn was my first love. And i tried my best to make her happy. But after the government exam ended, we rarely met each other. And that's when problems started to occur. I haven't gotten my driving license yet and even if i had i would not be able to drive coz my parents would not permit me to. They say that i'm too reckless. *But up till now, the only accident i had was hitting a wall when reversing my car. Been driving, speeding and wat more? Racing as well.* That day, I met her ex while on the way to sugarbun with her. I didn't really notice it was her ex till she actually told me. And ever since then she would be talking to me mostly about her ex. What he did and many more. Hearing that, I started to lose confidence. I tried many ways to get through this challange; i cared for her more, called her but all was useless. She just thought that i was trying to be him. She even call me bad names and sumhow i was stupid enuf to be able to stand her.

About 3 months later, we broke up. She declared it. Coz she said that we were incompatible. Luckily i wasn't really heartbroken. Coz the loss seems so little. I did try to patch back but then fail. About a week later, we got back together again. That was after i drove (with my buddy accompanying) to her house. Things got better then and i started being myself again. I listened to what she wants n tried my best to give it to her. There was once when she wanted a soft toy and i searched the whole kuching for it without any result. Lucky for me(or her), i had a classmate studying in kl that time and he saw that doll and sent it to me. *Really thank him for that.* As soon as i got the doll, i manage to get my friends to bring me to her place since it was raining heavily. I lent my friend's umbrella n got them to park at the corner of the junction so she wouldn't see them. That time she was angry of me for sumthing which i've forgotten. Waiting outside the house, i called her home using my mobilephone and told her i was outside with a "gift". She didn't believe me at first but then when she looked outside, there i was. I may have misunderstood her words that day but as soon as i gave her the gift, i left. That nite, she called me, thank me for the gift and then forgave me.

In late April 2001, I received a letter from a campus in another state accepting me to futrther my studies there. Though the course i applied wasn't the course i wanted, it was a degree and i had to choose between a college o a university. Minn did apply for that U as well. And that's why i didn't want to go to that college. Even if it was in a more develop state and with lots of pretty girls. My heart was with Minn already. On the last day i before i left for my U, i was suppose to be out with Minn but then coz of my foolishness i drove my friends as well. And wat's worst? I nearly got Minn in an accident coz i was very anxious in getting Minn back home before dinner in order to prevent her from being scold by her parents. * Minn is the youngest in the family with 2 elder brothers and her family is strict.* If i got minn in an accident, i would sure die than living. Well , I knew that our relationship since then would not be very stable cz after my departure to my new U, we seldom see each other. But we called each other. Though she would mostly call from public phones coz she dun want her parents to know about her having a bf.

Late May, Minn got offered by a government U which is near my state. But not for long because she got another offer for overseas studying medical in Russia. My first tormenting cry was during this time. That week i got her call where she sounded very unhappy, I immediately asked my senior(a housemate who's very friendly and crazy) to help me buy a ticket to that state on that very weekend. Everything was perfect that morning. I left early so i wouldn't missed my bus. But then unexpected events occur. That day hapens to be one of the state's event and the road was blocked. After waiting 15 minutes and still no movement, i paid the taxi driver and then rushed to the bus station. Though i've been in that state for like almost a month, I dun really know the roads there. But somehow God helped me and i manage to reach the bus station and got onto my bus before it leaves................to be continued.

My World- F***ing World

2004-09-15T01:58:00.000+08:00

My World- F***ing World 15/09/2004 12:58am

Being a cancer is really hard unless u are able to do the rite things at the rite time. Rite this moment i'm moody. I've noticed that once more i've made mistakes which i've done many of a times. I've not done anything useful for quite sum time now and i'm not doing anything benificial from this 3 weeks break. Rite this moment i just wanna go out of this house n drive out to meet with my friends they all that are having their supper outside. Rite this moment i just wish i could ignore everything and start all over again from 0%. Just like clicking on a "restart life" button. Why oh why am i so lazy? So idle with life? So unmotivated in doing things? Wat when wrong in me? How could i be like this? I know that i could be better but rite this moment, I'm such a sucker~! AN asshole to be morel ike it. Might as well be best that i just die. No point living this life anyway. I'm a total failure in academic, social life and even love. I dun even qualify to be a son of a family. Man....Life rite now for me sux. Such a Fuking World. Sigh~ Wish i could just curl up and sleep thru this years without any pain; without sorrow. Just silence....Loneliness is my only companion. Who would be there to care for me? Who would be there to trust me? Minn said that of course ppl trust me. But in a certain level. And my family trusts me the most? Wat The Fuk? I dun see a constant trust from them. Where were they when i needed them? They only came when all the bads are over. Just like in the movies where the heroes finish dealing with the bad guys before the police arrives. Boy am i so fuking pesimistic. I seemed to have like given up in life adi. Feel like living a lifeless life. Many things i could do bu ti just dun have the courage to do it. I can think of doing it but then everything goes wrong becoz of me. See how useless i am? Can't even offer help to the needy, I got cheated by people easily. I even got used by those whom i considered them as my best friends. Friends.....I dun have much at all. Only a few whom i would consider friends. Friends uses me too often becomes my enemy. Sigh...Fuking life....

Freedom.......Do U even EXIST~!?

-End

The First Entry

2004-07-06T04:08:00.000+08:00

This is my first entry for this spot. For once, starting from now onwards i'll be a blogger. And for today, I'll just stop it for now. Gotta go ctach sum sleep for my class in the next 4 hours. Summore i gotta finish set up this account of mine first. Hmmm......

A World of I.C.E

Updates . . . .

Feeling Shitty

I'm bored.... =_="

Happy Birthday

3rd July ramblings

Sigh~!

May Fishing Trip Diary

Day 1 of Bursa Pursuit

Fly me to the polaris

Busy busy busy

Re-Cap of 6 days ago

Happy Birthday to me

Glimpse of a few days back

Ran out of luck

2 beds and a coffee machine

To where i belong

I feel like....

I GRADUATED FINALLY

I'm back in Malacca

Cyberjay

Why make friends?

True Beauty

I think I'm gonna be alone again

Can you name 10 ppl?

A lil' bit better

最近比較煩

This just ain't a good day

Dark Dark Gray

Six weird things about me

Cleaning up my room

My two week break

Thank you

What breed of Puppy are you

I miss you

Where to dine?

What i feel today

She is the most important person to me . . .

Happy New Year 2007

I luv her

week 6 and day 4 without internet connection >.<

2nd day of industrial training

The first will lasts longer than the second

Doomsday is Coming!

When you gotta do sumthing, you just gotta do it!

Close but yet not good.

Pierching the Ear

Happiness

NIGHTMARE~!!!

"wo hai bu xiang sui"

Doing Stupid things

A new person in my life?

I wanna graduate ASAP~!

I wanted so much to sleep...wanted so much to forget and wake up fresh the next day

Missing chances

Hope lost...along with Faith.

Sumthing I like.

Stress Time~! Stress Time~!

He was not handsome

Ulcer~!~!

Mouth Ulcers

Treatment

Pain Relief

Antibacterials

Anti-inflammatories

General Advice

Another Idle and yet, Tiring Day

A night to remember~!

1st of March, 18 days before M's b'day.

Rainy day~!

Lost my precious memories...rebuilding a new one

Drawing with P-chan

I sang for V'day~

Last minute "pia chek" for Midterm

2nd day of CNY

HAPPY Chinese New Year~!!

2.55am--Time CRISIS

26, January 2005 Wednesday 7.55am

Supposedly

ROSE~!! I'm addicted to you~!